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The Little Spy Maid
Devious Butlers 2x05
Season
Episode
05
Airdate
December 11, 2016
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"The Little Spy Maid" is the 17th episode of Devious Butlers.

Summary

With Jennifer's wedding to Andrew fast approaching, it's a race against time for Ben and Ali to rescue this poor, unfortunate soul and ensure that that rich creep never gets the chance to kiss the girl at the altar. Due to this, they barely register the absence of Val, who goes deep under the scenery of the Davis house in order to expose Rena and Liz. This causes the dominatrix to deem that her butler's continued employment is no longer an option, though his next boss could cause a stir with his friends who are already riled up by their own issues. Joe and Josh, for instance, continue to grapple with the aftermath of the Joanna revelation, with the former also having to deal with an apparent stalker and the latter still having to endure Selena's never-ceasing efforts to make him part of zer world.

Plot

Teaser

A small piece of chocolate is seen being self-fed into a pair of lips painted deep red, with Valentina Cortez then biting down and moaning at the taste, causing her to think back...
We see a far younger Val, standing with her older sister Justine as their house in France appears decorated for Christmas. "Valentina!" Justine exclaims, waving around an empty advent calendar, "I cannot believe that you just stole my chocolate!" Val just looks at her and enunciates, "I not can believe you that stole my chocolate just. You really need to work on your English, sweetie." Justine blinks at this.
A few years later, in high school, Valentina has full attention of all the senior boys, impressing them with her multilingual abilities, when Justine approaches and says, "Valentina. It's time for us now to go home." Val rolls her eyes at this, stating, "It's for time now us to home go! Honestly, Justine, you should stop trying to deviate from your own tongue. You're just embarrassing yourself." The French high school boys laugh at this, to Justine's dismay.
Finally, we are taken back to just a few years ago. Justine and Valentina as adults, catching up in some French bistro. "Well very been you have?" Justine inquires, only for Val to smirk and say, "Indeed," having messed sufficiently enough with her half-sister's English over the years. "Why in French do we not speak?" Justine suggests, only for Val to reply, "Because it's not as funny," and the blonde shoots her a confused look. "So," Val continues, "I got a call from dad yesterday. He and mom are back in Spain for the Summer." "Lovely," Justine gives a squinted smile, "I hope you did send my stepfather my loves. Mother did always love Spain." "It's where they met," Val recalls, smiling far more sweetly as she reflects upon her melting pot of European genes. "But," the Spanish-French woman goes on, "what brings you back home for a visit?" "Mine bosses in the US," Justine replies, sighing deeply, "Up le wall they drive me with them, and I thought I was meant to drive them places." "Still, must be exciting, working for actors," Val reckons. "Tu would think, but mon dieu." "Santo dios," Val corrects, and Justine ponders this, thinking she might use that at some point. "Me just needed trip to where I comes from, even if place here did rip off of me. Plus I be having... man troubles." Val sniggers at this, never having had any trouble whatsoever in this department, and Justine frowns. This makes Val turn sad, and she extends an arm to her sister, saying, rather genuinely, "Hey, you don't have to worry. Things will get better. And you know you have a home here with me whenever you need one, right?" Justine takes her sister's hand with a smile that's not even squinty, fondly replying, "Oui," and Val smiles again in return. "So what else is new?" Val goes on to say, and Justine tells her, "I must interview new peoples for butler position at home. As if Davises even need of the butlers! Knowing unfortunate poor luck of mine I end up stuck with some grossness pig." Valentina giggles as the two sisters continue catching up.
"Hey!" Rena yells in the present, seeing Valentina eating that small chocolate in the middle of the Davises' kitchen, "What the hell are you doing here?" Val turns around to face him, taking a moment to swallow the chocolate, and Rena then gasps before exclaiming, "Was that from my advent calendar?!" "What are you, eight?" Val replies, and Rena looks even more insulted, right before Liz enters the room to inquire about all the commotion. She is then also taken aback to see Val in her home, asking the Spanish maid what she's doing there, and Val replies, "It's my first day on the job, of course." "Your first what on the whatnow?" Liz babbles in response, and Val grins, "Didn't Mr. Davis tell you? He hired me to replace your old maid. Part-time, of course, but I reckon that's enough. I guess he thought that, while he was away, the place could really do with a woman's touch. I agree." Liz looks indignant at this, while Rena just remains confused. "Well, he has no need to worry," Val continues, sensing the awkwardness stemming from the two people before her and loving it, "I'll be keeping a close eye on everything for him. Every. Tiny. Detail." Liz and Rena both gulp, while Val just maintains her smile, taking out a feather duster and straightening the apron on her uniform as she continues on into the next room to get some "cleaning" done. Her grin finally drops when she is out of their sight, but she can still hear them panicking from the next room over, watching from the doorway as they stare at one another in disbelief. Curling those deep red lips of hers, Val goes on to say to herself, "And you people thought butlers were devious..." She even squints her eyes as she smiles.

DEVIOUS BUTLERS

Act I

A panoramic view of the Wik-E-Mart, before being taken inside to the snack aisle where Joe is currently dialing on his cell phone. As he waits for the person on the other end to pick up, he grabs an industrial bag of pork rinds for Rochelle, tossing it into his shopping cart before, finally, there is an answer. "Hey Joe," Josh replies, about to vacuum over at the Washington house, "Could you make this quick? Selena's only giving me a crazy short break today 'cause 'that's what the slaves woulda got' and if she - ze, whatever - catches me using work time for phone time I'm sure she'll try and reenact a lynching or something." "I just wanted to check in," Joe assures, "see how you were doing after the whole..." he lowers his voice, "Joanna situation. I've not been able to get a hold of you for a while, so I was worried--" "Well, to be honest, I was kinda mad at you too," Josh reveals, to Joe's surprise. The British butler elaborates, "You knew what she did to me and you waited, what? Three, four months to tell me?" "I was kind of distracted," Joe defends, but Josh just says, "Whatever. I'm over it. Now all my anger is being redirected towards her. That and... fear." "Fear?" Joe questions, and Josh points out, "If she killed Matthew then what else did she do? What if she's responsible for more murders? Like Jorgio." "Jorgio?" "You never found his death kinda strange?" Josh wonders, to which Joe replies, "Yeah, I guess..." "You guess? No one slashes their wrists and hangs themselves. And Joe... he confessed to Matthew's murder when you know he didn't do it. I thought you were meant to be a detective." It is then that a shadow moves past Joe, and he turns to miss it by a hair's breadth - something just went past him. Or someone, rather. "I... I am," he states after this momentary distraction; at least he's back to noticing things like a detective. "It doesn't matter," Josh goes on, "I should just not think about it. Plus Selena will be back soon and I gotta get this vacuuming done, so, see ya' later. And... thanks for calling." "Sure thing," Joe says before the conversation ends with a beep, but by now he's far more preoccupied with what just went by him. He puts his phone away and kicks his cart into high gear, wanting to turn right at the end of the snack aisle, but then the someone passes by him again, from behind, and he can sense their presence. When he turns, though, they are gone again, and he finds himself yelling, "Hey! Who's there?!" As once again he pushes his way down the aisle. Again turning the corner, but there's no one, and he begins to wheel his way around the store with great vigilance now. "Please don't be the visions," he begs of himself, deviating from the liquor section, but we are then shown that, hiding behind a nearby shelf, Silvia is breathing heavy, happy to have not quite been spotted by the man she's spying on.

In the Del Barrio mansion, Ben and Ali are sat across Brad, as they explain their current situation at hand. "And now she's dead set on marrying the guy, and I have no idea how to stop her," Ben finishes. Brad nods, having taken some notes. "She just won't listen to reason," Ali tells the lawyer. "I see," Brad replies, "Well, Ben, Ms. Del Barrio, I'm afraid that you can't build a case against Mr. Von Trump without any concrete evidence that these accusations are true." He turns specifically to Ali. "Did your husband have any written agreements? Receipts?" Ali shakes her head though, explaining that Jorgio was too smart to leave a paper trail. "It was always direct cash and then the man would come over in the middle of the night and smuggle the girl into the back of a van." Both Ben and Brad shiver at the thought of this, but the latter continues. "I'm afraid there's nothing you can do then. Not by a legal means, anyway. Have you tried getting some more of her family to talk to her?" "I called her mother last week," Ben reveals, "She thinks the whole thing is fabricated; won't believe me." "Uh huh. Well," Brad says, standing to his feet to leave, "I truly hope you two find a way to get your friend out of this whole mess, but I'm afraid I can't be of anymore assistance." Ben and Ali stand as well, to walk the lawyer out. "Well, thanks for agreeing to see us," Ali tells him, and Ben tells him to tell Josh that they said hello. Brad assures that he will, and with that he's seen out. Ben closes the door behind him, and the two both sigh. "What are we gonna do?" Ali wonders, but Ben simply does not have an answer to his boss' question. However, he does have something else to mention. "Don't forget," he tells her, "you have your first ultrasound today." This comes as a surprise to Ms. Del Barrio though, because she did forget. "Oh," she replies, "right." "It's at 3, so be ready by then and I'll pick you up to go after lunch, okay?" "Yeah, sure..." Ali says, her mood having been totally shifted. Ben announces that he's going to go out for a while, and so Ali sees him off. However, once he's gone, Ali is left still thinking about the ultrasound. With the recent Jennifer situation, she's simply forgotten all about everything related to her ongoing pregnancy. She puts her hand on her belly and lets out a simple sigh.

Josh turns off the vacuum at the exact time that Selena is seen entering the room, questioning, "Taking a break, are we?" "No," Josh assures, and then, "You aren't gonna lynch me, are you?" "Oh, no, I'm over all that," Selena tells him, "turns out slaves had privileges too. I mean, they got their own damn ships while I can't even have Swan Queen as canon? Talk about unfair." Josh appears disgusted at this, but decides not to address it, especially since Selena has a look on her face which suggests she's about to announce something. "You may as well rest now anyway, because you're gonna be hard at work later." "I am?" "Drumroll please!" Selena exclaims, and Josh just stands there awkwardly. Selena stares him down some, and Josh comes to realize what he must do, side-stepping over to the nearest surface and tapping down on it a few times in an attempt to emulate a rhythm. "Thank you," Selena coughs, finally spitting out, "We're hosting a gala!" "We're what?" Josh asks, confused, and Selena exclaims, "A gala! A benefit! Something in aid of LGBTQIAPK rights. And you're gonna help us throw it." "Sounds like I'm gonna wear myself out just making the banner," Josh murmurs, thinking about all those letters, and then something registers with him: "Wait a minute, who's us?" "Right," Selena nods, "there's someone I'd like you to meet. A very new but dear friend of mine." She turns her head to the other room and cries, "You can come in now!" And, with that, Silvia steps into the doorframe, smiling at Josh as she greets him. "Hi," she shakes his hand, "I'm Lindsay. Lindsay Green. You must be Josh, I've heard so much about you." "Really?" Josh replies, shaking her hand in return, then awkwardly adding, "I haven't heard a thing about you... How new did you say this friend was?" "I only met her a few days ago," Selena reveals, "but she shares all my core values, so you know she's great. I just ran into her outside the Wik-E-Mart which was ideal. She had this idea for the gala back then and she's already wrangled up a great guest list on short notice. Even the Kappellettis RSVPed!" "Then why am I only just hearing about it now?" Josh would like to know. "'Cause otherwise it wouldn't be a surprise?" Selena replies as though it's obvious, "So finish cleaning this place already! I want it to look spotless so as to not trigger any guests." "Okay..." Josh utters, then picking up the vacuum and heading to the hall closet in order to put it away. Selena asks Silvia if she'd like to come up to her bedroom and help her revise the E-vite to ensure that both "Q"s in LGBTQIAPK feel welcome, but Silvia says that she should go up and wait for her, for she'd like to gain a sense of the space for the gala first. "And thanks for funding me, honey." "Anything for a friend," Selena smiles, "but... please don't use gendered terms like that." Silvia smiles as she watches Selena head on upstairs but, when she's gone, it turns to a grimace. She then heads to the hallway, re-plastering her smile, and approaches Josh just as he finishes putting away the vacuum. "Josh, right?" she greets him, and he says, "Yeah... Lindsay?" "That's what I said," Silvia smiles. "So," she goes on, "there's probably going to be a lot of work for you to do, so there won't be any time for you to go out on a lunch break with your little butler friends like Selena tells me you do most days." "Right," Josh replies, annoyed, and Silvia suggests, "To save some time, why don't you just invite them all here for lunch?" "What?" Josh questions, and Silvia tells him, "I'm just saying... it's a thought." She smiles before walking past Josh, who appears confused but then just sort of shrugs.

Meanwhile, several houses down, Rena is seen lounging about in the den of the Davis house. He flips through a magazine, waving around a feather duster in order to pretend that he's actually useful. He believes that, since Eli's back in Rome, he no longer has to pretend to be all that good of a servant. However, he soon finds himself being joined by Liz, who snatches the magazine out of his hand. "K, why?" Rena asks, annoyed to have the mood killed, but Liz simply responds: "You're fired." "Wait, what?!" Rena asks, immediately jumping up. "No, no, no, you can't do this to me," the Portuguese butler exclaims, "Bitch, you are not turning on me now. I will sue you your ass. I will sue you for sexual harassment, I will sue you for--" But Liz strikes Rena across the face, shutting him up immediately. "Relax, dammit," she says to him, "I'm firing you because with that new whore maid running around, neither of us are safe here. Eli is back to suspecting something's up, and it's only a matter of time before we have another incident like with Justine." "Well where am I supposed to go?" Rena wonders, but Liz reveals that she's already taken care of that. "I've lined you up with a new boss, and once again you'll be a live-in." Rena's pleased to hear this; however, he's left to wonder who exactly this new boss of his is.

"Guess who's got a new job!" Rena excitedly exclaims as he is greeted to the small table just off of Selena's living room, where the other butlers have been invited to lunch by Josh. The place is already in a state of mid-decoration, and the other Joe, Josh and Ben appear confused as Rena comes to sit down with them. "New job?" Ben questions, "What happened to your old job?" "Did Liz fire you?" Joe asks, shocked, while Josh inquires into whether he quit to focus on his YouTube career full time or something equally as stupid. "I'm still a butler," Rena assures, "and yes, Liz fired me for... reasons. But it's actually great, because my new boss is gonna be paying me twice as much!" "Well who's your new boss?" Joe wonders, only for Rena to grow interrupted by Selena's sudden cry of, "White males! White males everywhere!" "Do you mind?" Josh asks, "You're prolonging the reveal." "So much privilege around one table!" she weeps, and Rena rolls his eyes before turning to her. "You're cool," she assures him, "Did you know your ancestors had their own ships though?" "Selena!" Josh exclaims, "I think I just heard a Tumblr notification on your laptop upstairs. You should go check it out." "Really?" Selena asks, excited, "Okay!" She then dashes upstairs to do just that, while Josh hands the floor back to his Portuguese friend; "You were saying..." "Right," Rena nods, "my new boss is Joanna Winters!" Both Joe and Josh find their jaws dropping at this news, while Ben sits there with a smile on his face and exclaims, "Cool." "Rena," Josh manages to utter, "you can't work for Joanna. You just... can't." "Why not?" Rena asks in confusion, "It's not like the police are gonna arrest a third butler for Matthew's murder... is it?" "Who knows?" Josh cries, "But you just cannot go into that house with that woman! Do you hear me?" "Josh..." Rena utters. "Joe, back me up here," Josh begs, only for Joe, who's begun staring into space and breathing heavily, to say, "Excuse me," before standing up and heading to the kitchen. ("Did I just hear white male footsteps head to my kitchen? He best not be roofie-ing anything!") Now alone, he proceeds to lean against the counter, needing a moment to catch his breath. He then begins to look around the kitchen some, only for a familiar voice to state, "No alcohol in this joint, honey. Guess you'll just have to keep on thirsting. You always were a thirsty little bitch." Joe turns to see Joanna standing there; she isn't real, of course, but he can practically smell the imaginary glass of wine she totes with her. "You..." he utters. "Yep. Me," she smiles, "Guess you'll never be rid of me, huh? You thought you severed a tie there by telling Josh but... looks like I'm just gonna keep reattaching myself to your life. One butler at a time. And with all the animosity out there now, who knows? Maybe it's just a matter of time before I'm able to sit back, drink up, and just watch you... ♪ tear yourselves apaaaarrrt.♪" She cackles after saying this and Joe feels the need to turn away from her, hearing only her voice. "You thought they were your family, but what would you know? You've never had a family a day in your life. Abandoned as a baby. Raised by trailer trash. Even the cops you used to be so proud to surround yourself with don't think you're worth it anymore. You ain't nothing but a poor, washed up, deluded mess." "Shut up! Just shut up!" Joe finds himself exclaiming, tears in his eyes, only to turn around and be faced with a rather taken aback Silvia, who's just entered the kitchen. "I, uh... didn't speak yet," she points out, and Joe, embarrassed, apologizes profusely, quickly wiping his eyes. "I'm just, uh, under a lot of stress right now is all." "It's okay," Silvia assures, "I get it. Wikerly Hills has a way of breeding stress. It's why I needed to get away for a while, after spending so long here growing up." "I've never left," Joe reveals, taking strange comfort in this stranger (she is ever so charismatic, after all), and she tells him, "I'm Lindsay, by the way." "Joe," he replies fondly, and she adds that it's nice to meet him. "So were your parents from here originally?" she inquires, but Joe explains that, unfortunately, he never knew them. "I was actually abandoned as a baby." Silvia puts her hand over her mouth, pretending to be shocked, and then, "Say, how old are you?" "Twenty-five." "Meaning you were born in 1991, correct?" "Yeah..." "I don't suppose... no, you couldn't be." "Couldn't be what?" Joe wonders, only for Silvia to then reveal, "It's just, I remember this pretty big news item from back home, just as soon as I'd left, about a baby that was abandoned on a church doorstep. There was more to it, of course, but I seem to have forgotten. He'd be your age now though." "Not possible," Joe tells her, "I was found on the side of the road by my foster mother." "Hm?" "Meghan Jepsen," Joe adds, only for Silvia to say, "Name rings a bell. I'm almost certain she was the one who took the baby in. But I must be mistaken... right?" Joe just looks confused at this, while Silvia smiles. "You seem like a nice young man," she goes on, "Keep that up." She then wanders out of the kitchen, while Joe is left to ponder certain things about his past.

Act II

We're shown the inside of a hospital room, Ali lying down with Ben standing next to her, and her OBGYN running a transducer over her gel-covered stomach. The three look up at a screen that displays a sonogram of Ali's unborn child, and Dr. Strange points to it. "It's about six inches long right now," he says, "and weighs four ounces. If you listen closely you should be able to hear a heartbeat." Sure enough, the sound gives off just that, and Ben can't help but give off a little smile at the life growing inside of his boss' stomach. He looks over to Ali, but sees that she has more of a blank expression on her face, and so his smile goes away. Dr. Strange proceeds to quit going over Ali's stomach, putting the transducer away, and helps wipe the gel off of her stomach. He then excuses himself to run off some tests to see if anything comes up, thus leaving Ben and Ali alone together. There's an awkward silence before Ali decides to break the ice. "I'm glad you came," she tells him, "This being my first ultrasound... I'm glad I didn't have to come alone." Ben assures that he was happy to, and that he's glad Ali thought to ask him. "Even with everything that's gone on with us lately..." "I'm sorry," she tells the butler, not really knowing what else to say, but Ben assures that it's alright. "We've both made mistakes, Ali. It's best we just move on and not dwell on the past." "So you forgive me?" "Only if you forgive me." And the two give a light smile at one another. Ali's smile disappears, however, when happening to glance down at her stomach, and Ben sees this. "Hey," he tells her, "it's gonna be alright." Before Ali has a chance to respond though, Dr. Strange re-enters the room, bringing with him a clipboard of papers. "Well it seems that everything's good to go right now," he exclaims, "Mrs. Del Barrio, you have a perfectly healthy baby." Ali feigns a smile at this, choosing to accept this as good news instead of sorting out the mixed emotions she is still feeling over this whole situation, and Ben tells the OB that that's great. "Oh, and before I forget," the doctor remembers, handing Ali two sonogram pictures. "One for you and your husband," he says, smiling, but this makes Ali a bit uncomfortable. "Oh," she says, "my husband actually passed away recently..." And it's now Strange who is the uncomfortable one, glancing over at Ben, having gotten the wrong idea. "I see..." he says, "Well I'm sorry for your loss." Ali tries to hand back one of the pictures, secretly believing that being given one is already more than enough, but the OBGYN shakes his head. "It's standard procedure," he tells her, and Ms. Del Barrio nods. Ben feels bad about how the situation is clearly taking a toll on his boss, who in the meantime looks at the two sonogram pictures she now possesses. She sighs at the thought of what's to come.

At the Davis house, Liz is seen sitting in front of the TV, catching up on The Passions of Falta. She munches away on some crushed ice all the while, whereas Val stands nearby washing a set of windows. "Never realized how much work it was to clean this place," the maid comments, "I mean, with such a big house, it's a shame you fired Rena." Without turning away from the TV, Liz questions why the help is speaking to her, but Val instead asks: "Why did you fire Renato? Mr. Davis spoke so highly of him when we met." Liz proceeds to click the button on the remote to turn off the TV. "Now how is that any of your concern?" "Well I'm just saying," Val exclaims, spraying some Windex and wiping a spot, "It sure is odd to see you let go of such a well-liked servant out of the blue. Did his work not please you anymore? Surely something must have pleased you to keep him around as long as you did." But Liz simply can't be arsed right now. She stands up from the couch and picks up her purse. "I'm gonna go get a manicure or some other privilege that I can afford that you can't. I'm sure that wherever Rena's at now, he's happy, so don't wait up," and with that, Mrs. Davis finds herself out the door.
And sure enough, Rena is in fact happy. Over at the Winters' mansion, we see him pouring tequila slammers for himself and Joanna as the two sit next to each other on the sofa. "Cheers," they exclaim in unison, proceeding to drink. Jo's eyes widen as the alcohol hits her, something that does not happen often. "I'm impressed," she tells the butler, then wondering where he learned to make the drink. "It's my avó's old recipe. Big hit at all the family reunions." Mrs. Winters comments that she must have known what she was doing, and hands the glass over to Rena for him to pour her another one. As he does so, everything having just been laid out for them on the coffee table so no one has to leave for the kitchen, Rena comments on how much fun he's been having already since starting to work for her. "I can't believe that Joe and Josh wanted me to quit." The mention of Mrs. Winters' past two butlers make her a bit uncomfortable, not that Rena is aware of this though. "They kept telling me what bad news you were, but come on, a third butler wasn't about to be arrested for your husband's murder, right?" He chuckles. Joanna feigns a laugh at this too, and simply tells Rena that she's glad he enjoys being here. "It's nice having you." The butler wonders if perhaps there was a reason things weren't working out with Joe and Josh, but Joanna states simply that that's just a story for another day. Rena hands his boss her new drink, but before they can continue going about their conversation, the doorbell rings. Rena goes to get it, opening up only to see Liz standing before him. She sort of shoves him back, allowing herself to get inside. She closes the door behind her and walks up to her former butler, proceeding to knee him in the groin. He yelps in pain, wondering what that was for. "You've been out of my house for one afternoon. Are you already rusty?" she asks, and Rena suddenly remembers his relations with his former employer. "Upstairs, now." But Rena's confused. "Here?" he questions, and Liz turns, as Joanna approaches them. "She filled me in, so I've lent you one of my spare rooms." Rena's surprised by this, and Liz continues that they just have an hour so they need to get moving. Joanna nods, heading back to the sofa to get wasted on tequila slammers, and Rena sighs, proceeding up the staircase. "Hurry, Pig," Liz demands, believing the butler to be taking too long, but he stops. "Hey! That word is out of bounds, remember? Out of respect for--" "Whatever, keep moving," she demands, shoving him some, and the two make their way up the stairs.
Sometime later, Joanna finishes up the last of the tequila slammers, more wasted than she's ever been. She lies across the sofa, just listening to the sounds of a whip piercing Rena's back, and the yelps of said Portuguese. She falls asleep.

"Ali?" Ben asks, the two of them having returned from the hospital, the butler now doing some cleaning while Ali goes through some mail. "Yeah?" she answers, and Ben exclaims, "We've been going about this all wrong." Ali looks up from her papers, and Ben puts down his feather duster to take a seat next to his employer. "We've both been talking to Jennifer, trying to get through to her, but we've been doing this separately. We should be talking to her together. She needs two people who truly care about her, not just one. Maybe if we get he alone together we can finally snap her out of this." "You really think that will work?" "No idea, to be honest. But we have to try." Ali nods, but starts to think; she wonders how they'll be able to get to her since there's a good chance she's being watched over more since Ben's last attempt at her engagement party. Ben too contemplates this, but a smile comes across his face. "I have an idea," he says, rather deviously.
Ali is next seen standing up, rather awkwardly, holding her phone to her ear as she waits for a caller to pick up. Soon enough, someone does. "Hello?" James Edmond exclaims on the other line. "Hello, yes, I'm Alison... Jean. Alison Jean. Yeah, and my husband Be- Blue... Jean, and I have yet to receive our invitations to Andrew Von Trump's wedding." Over at the Von Trump mansion, James flips through a list to find these alleged names on it. "I'm sorry, but you two don't seem to--" "Do you know who I am?!" Ali exclaims, but James simply admits to having no clue. Ali goes silent, not really knowing what to say next, and she turns to Ben, panicking. He motions her to keep going and to keep up her assertive attitude, and so Ali inhales a deep breath and lets it out before continuing. "My address is 5519 Fanon Drive and I demand two invitations delivered here in the next hour. Do you understand?!" "Ma'am, I can't just--" "You will do as I say or I will see to it that you are fired and that you never find work in this fricken' town again." "I--" But Ali hangs up the phone, turning to her butler. "I think that went well," she says.

"You really expect me to prepare all this food in time for the gala?" Josh asks as he grabs another bag of whatever and tosses it into his Wik-E-Mart cart, Selena haunting him all the while. "It's what I'm paying you for, isn't it?" she asks, to which he replies, "Barely." "What's that?" "It's just," he says, "had you told me about the gala with more advance notice, I could have planned an actual menu." "I planned the menu, you just have to cook it," she points out, "Besides, I hired more servers, and if it were up to you, you'd probably only end up preparing something offensive." "What food is offensive?" "Cocktail wieners, duh," Selena says as though obvious, and Josh rolls his eyes, then sneaking a box of cocktail wieners off the shelf and burying it in the cart nonchalantly when his employer's back is turned. "Should we head to the liquor section next?" Selena wonders. "What?" Josh asks in shock, "I thought you didn't delve into alcohol." "I don't have to drink it," Selena points out, "but if I want people to create a buzz about the gala, I have to enable them to have a good time. I mean, I'll be having one anyway, shaming them all for not supporting the LGBTQIAPK community up until now, but them? They'll be the shamed ones. Trust me, they'll need a drink." "Alright then," Josh says, happy to oblige, but Selena stops him, saying, "Remind me later to put one of the female servers on watch duty, in case of any rohypnol." "Noted," Josh blinks, before leading to the cart to the liquor section. Meanwhile, Rena is pushing his own cart through the very same section with Joanna in his ear, with him pointing out, "I thought your house was loaded to the brink with alcohol already. Why do we need more?" "Because it's pretty much all just different types of wine," she exclaims, grabbing two bottles of tequila and placing them into the cart, "I forgot how much fun it could be to mix it up once in a while. Woo!" "Are you still drunk?" he asks her, amused, only for her to reply, "Honey, I'm never not." As they're coming out of the liquor section, though, they come across Josh and Selena just as they're heading in, meeting inadvertently at the cross-section near the snack aisle. Selena looks confused as to why her butler has stopped dead suddenly, seeing the intense eye contact he's making now with Joanna, while Rena stands by awkwardly. "Please tell me your white male instincts aren't kicking in and you're thinking of raping that poor woman," Selena sighs, only for Josh to ignore her, then turning to Rena and hissing, "I see you didn't listen to me. You're working for her now?" "Josh," Rena utters, "c'mon. What was I supposed to do? Starve?" "I don't wanna hear it," Josh tells him, then turning his attention back to Joanna and spitting, "You should be in jail." "Josh..." she utters to, only for him to yell, "No!" and command the attention of several shoppers. "You're... evil!" he loses it, while Joanna just stands there and takes it, "You walking free is offensive! You'll have ditched the evidence by now but I know what you did, and it makes me sick!" "Sir," comes another voice - a security guard has now approached him. "No!" Josh screeches, needing to get more in, "After what you did to me, it's no wonder you need all that booze! How else would you sleep at night?!" "Sir," the security guard repeats firmly. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FRIEND!" He nearly tips his cart over in the rage fit he's throwing, at which the guard finally grabs him and tells him that he needs to leave. "No!" Josh cries, "No! You should be carting her away!" But that's not what's happening. As the security guard roughly escorts the British butler out of the Wik-E-Mart, Joanna watches in guilt, Rena watches in confusion, and Selena watches in awe, just uttering, "Well... at least I'm not the one making a scene for once."

Rochelle can be seen relaxing in the bathtub as Joe approaches the door, knocking and asking the old paralyzed woman when she thinks she'll need his help getting out, though he flinches at the thought. "Not yet, boy, ya' botherin' me! Gimme at least three hours. If I'm to go to that damn tranny gala later, I'mma need to spend some time wi'myself under the sea." Joe shivers at whatever this means, but also takes it as good news, for now he has time to slip away. Taking out his phone, he begins to dial yet again...
"Joe, why are you calling?" we next hear Lieutenant Huberd saying from down at the police station, "I told you, there's no way right now that you can--" "I know, I'm done for," Joe replies, not really wanting to relive it, "but listen, I need a favor." "Now, Joe--" "Come on!" Joe exclaims into his cell, "After all this, you owe me something!" Sighing, Huberd begins to consider this, asking his former detective, "What do you need?" Joe smiles from the other end.
Next see Joe, he is in the police station, sitting at a computer in a private segment of the precinct. "You got thirty minutes," Huberd warns him before closing the door, but Joe tells him, "I only need twenty." With his old boss gone, he then begins to use the extensive police records database to its full advantage, and as time passes we are shown the various things Joe is digging into: old articles, newspaper scans, reports... His screen settles on a particular piece written in 1991. As he reads it, his face contorts in shock and confusion, and he quickly feels the need to press a button and print the thing out.
"How could you not tell me?!" Joe exclaims as, later, he is slamming the newspaper print-out down on the kitchen table of Meghan Jepsen's trailer. "Joe..." Meghan utters. "First, you said I was abandoned in the street, here it says the baby you found was dropped on a church doorstep." "You need to understand..." "And then, my favorite part, the church freakin' exploded! How did I never hear about this?!" "I didn't want to--" "And that's not even what shocks me most," he goes on, "But how could you not tell me about my mother?" "Your mother?" Meghan coughs, overwhelmed. "The woman," Joe states. "The woman who was found strangled in a grave not thirty feet from where you picked me up in a basket. The woman who abandoned me, and then was murdered." "Lily DeWar," Meghan nods. "According to the article," Joe breathes, "and here I thought you just picked my last name at random. What the hell is wrong with you?" "That's enough," Meghan declares, "Calm down, have a seat." Taking a deep breath, Joe decides to take on his foster mother's advice and sits opposite her, the table with the article on it between them. "Allow me to explain," she continues, "I didn't want to frighten you." "Frighten me?" "Yes," she exclaims, "it's a scary story. A woman was murdered. A church exploded. I had to keep the truth from you, or who knows how you could have reacted? Who knows the damage it could have done to find out your own mother was strangled to death?!" "More damage than allowing me to think that my parents were just some negligent bastards who left me to die?!" "I had to let you think that," Meghan claims, "so that you would never want to find them. So that you would never go looking for the truth I had done my best to shield you from. I only ever wanted what's best for you. And besides... me and this community were all the parents you needed." "I... I know that," Joe responds, "it's just... my mother was murdered. And I'm a policeman. Was. I was a... I should..." "Should what? Go looking for revenge? That's exactly the kind of response I didn't want you to have," Meghan warns him, and Joe just looks at her with tears in his eyes. "And the church... exploding..." "Churches explode all the time in Wikerly Hills, no one really questions it anymore," Meghan points out (see "Pilot" and "Grime of Thrones"), and Joe scoffs. "What is with this town? Murder and mayhem everywhere and everything's a freakin' mystery and I am sick and tired of having to solve them." "No one's asking you to solve anything," Meghan assures, reaching out and placing her hand on her foster son's. "But I have to, Ma," Joe makes clear. "I have to know where I come from. I... I have to know who killed my mother."

Act III

Back at the Little house, Joe is doing some extra research at home, using his laptop to search more details about Lily DeWar. "Went missing 1990, found dead a year later," Joe skim-reads aloud from another article which shows an image of Lily smiling to one side. It's from one of her old MISSING posters. Curious, Joe clicks on it, smiling himself at the sight of his birth mother. Feeling all of a sudden sentimental, he reaches out to touch the screen, sad that he'll never get the chance to know or to meet her... and then the familiar sound of wheels draws nearer as Rochelle enters the dining room, wondering what her butler is doing sitting his "lazy ass" on her seat with some device up on her table. "Sorry," Joe says, and, as she makes her way round to him, she begins complaining, "You weren't here to help me out of the bath. Damn Manny had to do it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy punishing the boy, but neither of us could have enjoyed that mess." When finally she's in a position to see his computer screen, she sighs and asks, "Now why in the hell you be Googling that slut?" "Huh?" Joe questions. "You said you was a cop, boy, but now you a butler, so don't be usin' my house for some cold case operation bull-hickey. Especially not for her." "You knew Lily DeWar?" Joe questions, and Rochelle shrugs, asking, "Who din't? The same as any other entitled white bitch in this town. Never a fan." "Do you think you could tell me m--" "I ain't wanna talk about dat ho!" Rochelle barks, reaching over to slam the laptop shut, "Now chop, chop, houseboy! Manny still got the shakes after seein' his Mama the way the Lord made her so you gotta accompany my black ass to the damn tranny-or-whatever gala shindig thing I was sayin' 'bout. In case a bust a tire or summit." "Ms. Little--" "I said chop, chop, bitch! That shemale puttin' out a spread!" Rochelle cries as she begins whirring her way out the room.

Another overhead shot of the Von Trump mansion is shown as another large event takes place. Guests are currently being sat down as the ceremony is about to commence. Ben and Ali, both dressed in lovely attire, show the bouncer at the front door their invitations and are allowed through the entrance of the home. "What happens when someone recognizes us?" Ali asks, but the butler reminds his friend that they'll only recognize her. "And they'll just assume I'm some paid escort to appear as your plus one." Ali frowns at this, but the two keep walking through the home. Ms. Del Barrio wonders when shall they seek Jennifer, and Ben tells her that they will now. "I actually talked things over with James after your phone call, just to make sure it all worked out. Apparently Andrew didn't want Jennifer to have a maid of honor or anything because he thought she'd be 'stealing focus'." "But really he didn't want anyone getting too close to his brainwashed bride," Ali understands. Ben confirms this, and he points out a staircase, telling Ali that Jennifer should be getting ready right now in one of those upstairs rooms. The two begin to make their way towards the flight of stairs; however, they aren't given the chance to when a voice calls out. "Alison!" Ben and Ali fear the worst, slowly turning the heads to see who is calling out for them, and to their surprise it's none other than Joanna Winters, stumbling on over. "I--, I--, hey gurrrrllllll," Jo giggles, greeting her friend. "Joanna, are you drunk?" the blonde questions, but immediately realizes how dumb of a question that is, and so she retracts it. However, she quickly takes notice that her friend is far more intoxicated than normal. "Sweetie, should you really be here right now?" she asks, but Jo shrugs her shoulders, also stumbling some in her heels. "W-- why would you think that?" she asks, and so Ali points out Mrs. Winters' current state. Jo admits that maybe she is a bit more tipsy than normal. "My new butler makes these excellent tequila slammers. Highly recommend. Ten out of ten, one hundred percent, gold star that stuff, k?" Ben and Ali turn to each other, not really knowing what to do, but Ben sees James in the distance and he motions that the fellow butler join them. James does so, but the moment Joanna gets a look at him she breaks down into laughter. James is currently dressed in a sparkling vest with no shirt on underneath, as well as a fishtail costume for pants, and a seashell crown on his head. Ben can't help but chuckle as well, having not seen this as clearly when the butler was in the distance. "What is this?" he asks, but James begrudgingly tells him that it's part of the "Under the Sea" theme that Andrew insisted on for his wedding. "Right," Ben says, trying to conceal his laughter. Ali though, has kept a straight face this whole time, and she tells the butler that she thinks Joanna needs some help finding her seat. James realizes what a nuisance Mrs. Winters is being for them, and so he nods, agreeing to help the drunk find her seat. As he directs Joanna away, Ben mouthes a "thank you" to the fellow butler, who nods in return. With that, Ben and Ali turn to one another and nod too, proceeding to make their way up the stairs.
Jennifer is seen in a spare bedroom upstairs, in her wedding dress and now applying the final touches to her look. She's absolutely stunning, and clearly a lot of work has gone into making herself look as nice as she does. She stands in front of a mirror and twirls around some for an examination of herself, smiling at the sight. But this smile drops when the door slowly creeks open, and Ben and Ali make their way inside. She frowns, turning to face them properly, and asks what they're doing there, going to the wall to press a button for security. However, Ben stands in front of it, and Ali instructs that her friend take a seat on the bed. Jennifer hesitates at first, looking to see if there's a way around them, but when she sees that there isn't she gives in and does as Ali requests. Ali proceeds to sit down next to her, and Ben on the other side. "What are ye two doin' here?" the Scotswoman asks, and Ben states that they're just trying to help. "I thought ye was goin' to leave me alone," Jennifer questions of her former husband, but Ali speaks up that they can't just stand by and watch as Jennifer throws her whole life away. "This isn't you," she tells her friend, "The Jennifer I knew, the Jennifer I was friends with, would not be doing what you're doing right now. You have to understand that you're being brainwashed." "What do you know?!" "What I know is that I spent about half a decade prisoner to Jorgio. He did some truly unspeakable things to me, but I shouldn't have to tell you that, for you to know. Please, Jennifer, just look around and think back. Think back to your life before this, and think back to how things are now." "Think about us," Ben speaks up, "Our marriage was not a happy one, no, but still think about how I treated you, and think about how Andrew is treating you." "Don't think about his tone," Ali intervenes, "Think about the words he is speaking to you and what these words are." "Please, Jennifer." But she is starting to feel as though she's been cornered, and she quickly jumps up. "Stop it! Both of you! Quit trying to ruin this day for me." Ali tries to speak up, but Jennifer snaps back that she needs to not. "Just lemme live me life and be happy! Maybe Andrew ain't the perfect fella out there, but what lad is? Now if you'd excuse me, I'd like to go get married." Ali sighs, dropping her head, and Jennifer picks up her bouquet to leave. However, Ben isn't done just yet. He stands up. "What about our daughter?" Jennifer proceeds to stop in her tracks and turn around. "Excuse me?" "Our daughter. That little girl I held in my arms for those few moments." "What's your point?" "Would you want this for her?" Ben asks, "If she was in your place right now, would you be happy? Would you be content?" Jennifer doesn't respond, and Ben approaches his former wife. "Would you be able to stand by and watch her marry a man like Andrew and spend the rest of her life the way that you're about to?" "Ben--" "Would you?!" Tears start to build up in Jennifer's eyes as she can't bring herself to answer the question. "No," Ben is able to answer for her, "you would not. So how could you think that it would be okay for you?" But Jennifer wipes the tears from her face, eventually being able to return to a state of indifference. Ben waits for a reply from his ex-wife, as does Ali, and the former Mrs. Gold stands there for a minute. But she then makes her way to the button on the wall, pressing it to alert security. "I told you two to leave but you didn't listen, so now I have to resort to this." Soon enough, two buff security guards arrive at the door. "See them out," the bride instructs, and they round up Ben and Ali to escort them away. "You're making a big mistake," Ali calls out to her. "You just think about our little girl," Ben adds on as well, but Jennifer refuses to listen. She stands there, motionless.
Ben and Ali are next seen being forced out the front door of the Von Trump mansion. "Well what the hell do we do now?!" Ali wonders, but Ben shakes his head. "Nothing," he answers, "She's made her choice." He proceeds to storm off to the car, and Ali stands still, both surprised and saddened. Eventually though, she follows the butler.
Meanwhile, out back as the wedding between Jennifer and Andrew is finally taking place, and the minister speaks between vows being said, we see a closeup on Jennifer's face. Her veil covers her up for the most part, but if looked at close enough, you can see the stream of tears flowing down her face. No one notices this though; not Andrew, the minister, or the guests. And if they did, it'd have been mistaken for tears of joy. But this simply was not the case.

Val stands in the den of the Davis house with Liz still having not returned home from earlier. She's currently texting back and forth with Eli, the latter of whom is currently seeking an update. "Rena's been fired, but apparently been set up with a new job down the street," she types to her boss. "She must realize I'm onto her again," Eli sends as a reply. Val reads this, and proceeds to put her phone away. She prepares to leave and go back home to the Del Barrio mansion, but as she gets her purse and keys, she looks back out the window where she sees Liz's car nearing... and then driving straight past her home. Confused, Val takes her stuff and exits the Davis house, locking the door behind her, and she looks to see Liz pulling into the driveway of the Winters' mansion. Val watches as Liz knocks on the door and Rena welcomes her inside, and instantly she realizes what the two have done. She proceeds to make her way down the street.
Inside the Winters' mansion, Rena and Liz make their way up to the spare bedroom Joanna has allowed them to use. "We should have a couple hours, at least," Rena exclaims, "Mrs. Winters is out attending a wedding. Liz nods, and proceeds to demand that the butler start removing his clothes.
Meanwhile, unbeknownst to the two, Val is now outside of the Winters' mansion. She starts to make her way around the side, peering through windows to see if she can spot anything.
Liz is now dressed in her dominatrix attire, and she walks around Rena holding a whip. The butler is in entirely nude, wearing nothing but a collar, and he is knelt down to show his obedience. Every so often, Liz addresses him as a "dog" before whipping his back, resulting in a yelp.
Having made it entirely around the outside of the Winters' mansion and spotted nothing, Val lets out a sigh. She contemplates what to do next, but then something catches her eye: a light. She notices that, on the second floor, a light is switched on, and she takes this to mean someone is up there. She now thinks of a way to get up there, and conveniently enough, she spots a trellis on the side of the house.
"Do you like the pain I'm currently inflicting on you?" Liz asks Rena. "If it pleases you then it pleases me, Mistress!" She proceeds to whip him again.
Val sees the trellis goes up high enough to where it reaches the level of window, and from there she starts to climb up.
"You're worthless," Liz tells her sub, "Tell me you're worthless!" "I'm worthless, Mistress! I just live to serve you, oh great Mistress!" "That's right!" Liz cackles, whipping her former butler yet again.
And that time Val sees it, having reached the top of the trellis and shimmied along the drainpipe some, discovering a suitable ledge. In fact, she's snapped a picture of it... or five, all of which she now sending to Eli. "Come home, now," she types in a message to her employer, proceeding to hit send. With that, she grins deviously, deciding now to just stay and enjoy the show. Rena and Liz remain totally oblivious.

Over at Selena's house, the gala is finally commencing, with Silvia sharing a drink with the hostess - who of course refuses to sip on anything but tepid water - as she comments, "Maybe it was a bad idea to throw this on the same day as Andrew Von Trump's wedding. All the real richies will be at the reception by now." "It's fine," Selena assures, "look. The Kappellettis made it." Indeed, right now, Kathryn and her husband are being greeted at the door by Josh, while Kevin's brothers - Killian and Kerwin - are heading for some drinks. "And no one's passed out yet, thank Goddess," Selena adds, "That girl I put on rohypnol watch is really worth the money. Good thing I'm paying her twenty-two percent more than Josh for the night." We then see that said girl is Juanita Kwon, who stands in the way of Kerwin and Killian as they attempt to grab a drink. "You rape any?" she asks, to their confusion. "Excuse me?" Killian demands, to which Juanita replies, "Slip anyfing into drinks, betcha betcha?" "What the hell is this?" Kerwin demands. "I give you champagne for pills." They just look at one another, confused, while Josh gets to greeting Rochelle at the door. "Make way! Make way!" she honks, "This vehicle is naht reversing!" Joe wanders in behind her, looking ashamed, but Selena's face lights up at the sight. "Ooh!" she shrieks in excitement, "A guest who's black, disabled and a woman. Not that I'm assuming. But it's such a great lick of diversity, don't you think?" She turns to Silvia, who is stuck staring at Rochelle, looking a tad off. "Lindsay?" Selena then asks, but Silvia doesn't respond, not recalling her fake name. "Lindsay?" Selena exclaims more pointedly, at which point Silvia finally remembers what she told her she was called, and she turns to her and asks, "What?" "Do you wanna come network this guest with me?" Selena wonders, gesturing Rochelle as she drives on over to the food spread, but Silvia firmly responds with, "No." "Huh?" Selena responds, "Why not?" "No means no," Silvia barks, then heading for the kitchen so that she can hide away. Selena appears confused, but then she notices that the food Rochelle is starting to fill up on is cocktail wieners, and she rushes over in a panic in order to stop the salacious phallus fest. "How're you?" Joe asks Josh nearer the door after finally having gotten away from Rochelle, who's now shoveling wieners into her mouth while Selena screams and begins knocking them off of the table, trying to get people to try the crab puffs instead. "Okay, just a little stressed. It's been a real day." "Tell me about it," Joe responds; he tries to continue conversing with his friend, only for the two of them to suddenly be interrupted by Kathryn and Kevin Kappelletti, with the former saying, "I hate to break up this little Grindr hookup you two got going - I don't know if the whole staff part of the LGBABC or whatever - but--" "What my wife means to say," Kevin interrupts, "is that your coworker appears to have one of my brothers in a headlock, and we were wondering if you could do something about it." Joe and Josh look in confusion, and indeed right now Juanita is choking Kerwin under her armpit. "Four legs good, white males baaaad!" she bleats. "Oh dear," Josh utters, moving to go break it up, while Kathryn assures him, "Don't rush. He still owes us for that cheap-ass dishwasher he got us for our wedding." "Honey, I thought you were gonna let that go," Kevin tells his wife at the same time that, in the background, Josh tries his best to restrain Juanita; Selena merely thinks he's advancing on the poor girl and tries to break them apart, and then Rochelle runs over her foot while trying to get back to the wieners. It's quite the fiasco. "Yeah well it bothers me," Kathryn responds, "everyone knows I prefer to stand there and watch our servants wash dishes by hand. It's a nice slow reminder of how much better I am than other people." Joe is still standing there, but tuning them out, for all he's able to focus on is - beyond the hassle going on by the spread - the rows and rows of alcohol that have been lain out. Joanna takes shape and beckons him over with a finger, her voice murmuring, "You've had a long day. A hard day. You've earned it." Joe then shakes his head and makes his way to the kitchen, where Silvia is still hoping to avoid Rochelle. "Oh," he utters, "hey there." "Oh, hi," Silvia replies, "are you working this party?" "No, I'm just here with my boss," Joe responds, and Silvia nods, "Right. You work for the Littles, right?" "Indeed," Joe sighs, and then Silvia asks what he thinks of Rochelle. "Honestly?" "Be as honest as you like around me, hon," Silvia assures, and then Joe chuckles that she's a nightmare. Silvia lets out a very genuine grin at this, very much liking that response, and tells him to enjoy the rest of the gala. "I don't think I'll be staying too long," Joe admits, and Silvia asks if it's the cause he finds too silly. "Because Selena does tend to come on a little strong, thinking that saying 'LGBTQIAPK' is somehow better than 'gay'. It's like, a Lily by any other name..." "I'm sorry, a what?" Joe asks, having a sudden reminder of his mother, but Silvia just sips her drink and says, "Hm?" "It's just, you said--" he decides to stop, looking Silvia up and down, for that error seemed far too intentional. "I'll be going now," he breathes, and Silvia watches with one eyebrow raised as he leaves. He passes Josh on the way out, who's finally successfully gotten everyone separated, and gotten himself half-covered in champagne at the same time. As he towels himself off, with Selena nearby still clutching her bleeding foot, he comments, "Looks like tonight's gonna be as bad as the day that's come before it."
We cut to later, and the gala's picked up quite a bit now. All the mess has been handled, Josh is now dry, and some of Andrew's wedding guests have even worked their ways there after the reception. "Cocktail wiener?" Josh sneakily offers to Kathryn, "Or perhaps a crab puff? Turns out they trigger Selena as well after she remembered Sebatian's 'racially insensitive depiction'." Kathryn just tells him, "No thanks, I'm good. I had a grape this morning, so..." "Right. Gotcha." "You might wanna try Rochelle though, wherever she is. She loves a good snack whenever we get together." Josh then looks around and spots Rochelle over by the drinks, having pounded back a good few glasses. Juanita is no longer on duty, for she too is drunk, and she and the old paralyzed woman are now doing a duet of Beyonce's "Crazy in Love" in the corner. "I think she's good," Josh tells Kathryn, who then asks if he's seen that husband of hers around anywhere. "Uh, no, but I can help you look if you like." "Just find him and tell him I wanna leave soon. I don't wanna get AIDS from one more of these faggots touching me. No offense." "None... taken?" Josh replies awkwardly, then deciding to go search for Kevin in the kitchen. This is at the same time that Silvia is sneaking out, taking her chances with Rochelle sufficiently distracted, and she tells Josh to tell Selena that she had to leave as she passes him on the way. He finds it a little odd as she rushes over to the front door and sneaks out, but has small time to dwell on it as, in the kitchen, he comes to discover Kevin Kappelletti - along with the rest of the Kappelletti brothers, plus a multitude of other guests, all gathered round as Selena is busy giving a presentation with a projector set up atop the kitchen counter. A health and safety hazard if Josh has ever seen one. "And here he is now!" Selena exclaims as Josh enters the kitchen, and everyone turns to look at him. "Um... hi," he gives a little wave, and everyone claps, with Killian commenting, "So reserved. Not like a white male at all." "Josh here is my biggest work-in-progress," Selena continues explaining, "just look at this scene from earlier today. He was so triggered, like a true fighter of the cause." She presses a button on a remote and the projector suddenly starts playing a security clip from the Wik-E-Mart - one which depicts Josh as he screams at Joanna over by the snack aisle, and then making a massive scene before a security guard is forced to drag him away. The gathered guests watch with intrigue while Josh just watches with horror, asking his employer how in the hell she has that footage. "I bribed the guard to give it to me. Some privileges are worth having," she smiles, and the rich people in the room agree. They begin talking among themselves, while the security tape goes fuzzy as it comes to an end, then going back and starting from the beginning. Josh appears strangely intrigued while no one else takes any notice, and then his eyes widen at the footage taken just earlier that very morning. Footage of Joe wandering the snack aisle on the phone, talking to him. And... of Silvia. Very clearly following him. Joe doesn't notice, of course, but, thanks to the tape, Josh does. He furrows his brow, uttering, "Lindsay?" as he watches her hide behind a shelf full of mini-donuts to avoid being seen, at which Selena exclaims, "Where? Where'd she go? I wanna take a few selfies with her for my Insta-feed. Hashtag gala. Hashtag success. Hashtag QIAPK up your A." She begins walking out of the room while Josh continues to look up at the footage of Silvia stalking Joe, very curious as to what it all means, but then Kevin accidentally trips and spills his champagne over the projector device, causing it to malfunction and go off. "Dammit!" he yells, "I had to bribe that ethnically ambiguous girl with like ten thousand yen for that drink!" Josh is very annoyed that the intriguing evidence has now been destroyed, before uttering, "I have to find Joe." However, as he goes back out into the main body of the gala, he comes to recall that his friend left quite some time ago…

Joe is seen sitting alone on the Littles' couch, the vision of Joanna standing in front of him. "I'd almost be proud of you if you weren't so stupid," the vision chirps. "You need a drink, dumbass. Otherwise the stress is gonna drive you even crazier. Your mom was murdered, you're being stalked, you still have me knocking around all not in jail and whatnot. Not to mention you're still a freakin' butler. Felt good being back in the precinct, huh? Well if you don't wanna end up shooting up a school, hun, I suggest you throw back some freakin' wine." Joe then grows distracted by the sound of glass clinking against glass, and Joanna disappears as he gets up and heads to the kitchen in order to investigate. There, he finds Aliza sitting at the table, having poured herself the latest in a long line of glasses, using the wine bottle that was just sort of sitting there. "Oheyyyy," she says upon seeing Joe, and something about seeing a pretty woman with a glass of wine certainly stirs something within him. "Hi there," Joe responds, going to go sit down with her, and Aliza asks, "Would you like a glass? Damn thing was just left out here, no explanation, figured I might's'well start guzzlin'!" She downs her glass and pours another, sliding it across the table to Joe. "I really shouldn't," he replies, "I mean, the occasional one's fine, but... not right now. Not with the way I've been feeling." "Well color me confused as crap," Aliza blurts, "Y'all ass teetotal or some poop?" "I just... shouldn't," Joe repeats, but Aliza tells him there's lots of things in life he "shouldn't" do. "Lemme give you a fo' instance," she cries, then moving forward and shoving her tongue deep down his throat; Joe's eyes widen as she holds the back of his head and presses his face against hers, then finally relenting with a massive string of saliva existing between them. "See? I prolly 'shouldn't' ha' done that, but I damn well did, and it felt good too." "I'll say," comments Joanna, her voice once again emanating from the wine bottle, "Did you taste me in her lips, baby?" "You sure you don't want this?" Aliza asks, regarding the glass of wine, but Joanna's voice just keeps on saying, "Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink!" And then he does. He lifts up the wine glass and hammers it the f*ck back, loving every drop. "Dayum," Aliza comments, all tipsy, then moving forward in order to place her hand on his thigh. "I knew you'd be sipping on her soon enough," Joanna's voice says in a smug tone, and then Joe looks at Aliza and asks aloud, "Why not?" With that, he tackles her advances and decides to go in for the kiss, allowing her to practically devour his face right there in the kitchen. She begins to unbuckle his pants while he begins to unhook her bra, only to then realize that she isn't actually wearing one. "Hehe," Aliza giggles, only for the making out to be interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Rochelle comes rolling into the entrance hall, drunk as a skunk, still singing, "Got me lookin' so crazy right now, your touch--" but then she turns angry as she yells, "Where the hell ma' damn butler get to?!" "We can't let Mama catch us, she'd go ballistic," Aliza whispers to Joe. "We could go upstairs," he points out, "to your room." "Then Manny might here, and he's such a snitch. Bitch wouldn't last five mins in the joint." They then stop, thinking, as the sound of wheels draws nearer. "The hell is anybody?!" Rochelle cries, while Aliza, still atop Joe, comes up with an idea. "I know where we can go," she tells him.
Aliza is next seen kissing Joe passionately as she leads him up the rickety attic stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. "No one will hear us in hear, so feel free to make me scream propa," Aliza snarls as she throws Joe down onto the floor of the empty room - empty save for some old furniture covered by tarps, "and it's not like Mama can take the stairs." She kisses him some more, then laying herself down on the floor and taking position, managing to remove her panties without removing her jeans and slingshotting them in Joe's direction. He catches them, knowing she wants him to pounce on her, but he hesitates. "It's not quite the same, is it?" Joanna asks, standing beside him, "I mean, no one could really replace me. But she'll do. You know you want it." Joe drops the panties, moving forward but then stopping, while Aliza asks, "What's the hold up? Do me, slut." The vision of Joanna then takes Joe's spare hand, which to Aliza just looks like he's randomly holding it in a locked position. Joanna then tells him, "Tell you what... why don't we do it together? You know it will be great." And then the vision begins removing its clothing. We see Joe bear down on Aliza, getting on the floor with her and rolling around the rough carpet, a lot of savage lovemaking proceeding to take place between the two of them... or rather, the three of them. The vision of Joanna remains with Joe the whole time, touching him along with Aliza; trailing her fingers down his chest, her hands across his back, her teeth across his neck... In his head, he hears her moan, while he and Aliza moan for real. And, soon enough, the two of them are left making out on the attic floor covered only by a tarp that was left behind from Manny's time working in there. "That was amazing," Joanna's voice echoes. "Yeah it was," Joe replies. "What now?" Aliza questions, and Joe says, "Sorry. Just, it was good." "Mhm," Aliza nods, "now I'mma go shuffle down to the kitchen and hope none o' your goo comes dribblin' out 'cause I need me some more drink. Want me to bring back the bottle?" "Yes please!" Joanna exclaims, followed by Joe: "Yes... please." Aliza nods, throwing some preliminary clothes on, and then begins sneaking downstairs. Joe, meanwhile, rolls around under the tarp and finds it awfully uncomfortable, then grabbing his boxers from nearby and applying them as he sits up. He then begins to look around the empty room and wonders why he's never been asked to clean it before, turning and noticing a piece of carpet in the corner which doesn't look like it's been laid down properly. Annoyed by this, he reaches out his hand in order to set it right, but it only ends up rolling further back, and Joe rolls his eyes at the typicality of this. "Aw, look, you actually care about neat and tidiness! Such a good little butler you are!" Joanna taunts. "I gave in to you. So you can be quiet now," Joe reminds the vision, and she shrugs before disappearing. His curiosity then gets the better of him and he decides to pull back the corner completely, revealing something rather shocking on the hard floor beneath: blood. A giant patch of dried red which someone clearly thought they'd covered up. But they hadn't. "Could be wine," Joanna's voice echoes, rather hopefully, one last time, but Joe shakes his head, whispering to himself, "I've seen enough crime scenes to know the sight of blood when I see it." "Well, well, 'detective'," his vision's voice trails off, "Merry freakin' Christmas."

Unanswered Questions

  • What exactly did Matthew learn about Joanna ("Emilie") that Jose wanted to use as blackmail?
  • What didn't the Littles want Josh to find out, relating to the blood-spattered white cloth?
  • Why was Silvia chasing Lily and why was she dead-set on killing the baby?
  • What is Silvia's history with Jorgio and why did she kill and frame him?
  • What exactly is Valentina's endgame plan in warring with Ben?
  • Why did Rochelle feel the need to flee back to Wikerly Hills? Which child does she blame?
  • How did Joanna come to obtain the burn scar on her hand?
  • How did the church Joe was abandoned at come to explode?
  • Why did Lily disappear a year prior to her death?
  • What is Rochelle's history with both Lily and Silvia?
  • Where did the blood stain in the Littles' attic floor come from?