Kill n Tell
June 11, 2017
Running time
Production code
Flash sideways
Written by
Directed by
Also Starring
Special Guest Star(s)
Archive footage

"Kill n Tell" is the 26th episode of Devious Butlers.


The butlers band together to cover up something horrible, which has strange ripple effects for their personal lives. Ben fears he won't be able to keep his mouth shut around Ali, who's currently struggling with having her family back in her life. The event in question slow-walks Rena into realizing how interesting life as a butler can be, after Mary gives him a bit of advice to cure writer's block. Josh is the only one of the four to wind up in prison, though for something very separate, and Joe, as Joanna faces further disappointments, dives into investigative work and deems the Kappellettis to be a good place to start. The stray Kappelletti, meanwhile, marks her arrival to Fanon Drive, as does Silvia when she hosts a dinner party for the whole neighborhood where everyone's many tensions are sure to grind.



Joe's face is blank, and he's stuck staring into space for a sliver of a moment which seems to last forever. The backdrop features the night sky along with a few trees; a familiar, grassy area. The smell of fresh dirt is on the rise, and the would-be groom has the camera whip round his stoic, stand-still self.
We are taken back several hours previous - the day of his wedding - where he's pacing nervously in the venue's dressing room and notes the nice, hot cup of tea which has been left for him. Desperate to calm himself, he doesn't think to question the source, and so he drinks it; he then places it down... and collapses onto the floor, thanks to the effects of some fast-acting drugs. The words, "Can't fix what ain't broke," are heard from somewhere nearby. It is then that Rochelle Little emerges. "A'ight, Great Cracker Detective, time to drag yo' ass. Literally." She scribbles out a sorry note and takes out a remote control, flicking a few dials and making it so that her old wheelchair enters the room RC-style. With a surprising amount of strength, she lifts Joe's unconscious body onto the chair, muttering to herself, "Fear, adrenaline, us old bitches can do any ol' thang." She then uses the remote to drive Joe forward, and he goes crashing straight through the window, tearing a little bit of flesh on the glass on his way out. Rochelle drives on out and continues to steer her victim to her will. The shot moves round his unconscious head.
And he's still unconscious, down in the Del Barrio dungeon, when Rochelle brings the chair to a sudden stop which makes it so that Joe casually falls on out of it and smacks against the hard, stone floor. "Haha. As my dear boy Manny woulda dun said... well, he never said anything that memorable, but he woulda luh'd seein' dat." Joe groans, and Rochelle notes that he must be starting to wake up, and so she hastily begins to drag him over to the wall where a pair of open shackles await - the very same ones that were used to detain Silvia when the butlers took her hostage (see "The Peasant and the Devious"), pretty weak from the rattling she gave them but Rochelle can't really tell. As he's clumsily clamped in, Rochelle takes note of Joe's eyes beginning to open, and smirks in his face. "You wakin' up there, you literal son of a whore? Betchu thought the next time you be wakin' up it'd be next to yo' fine-ass little wife, huh? And she does have a fine ass, but that's besides the point." Joe is vaguely paying attention, still pretty delirious from the drugs. "And to think I'm bein' paid to do this. I woulda gone dun it for free. Mare athei 'n' all dat." She then leaves Joe in place and goes to ditch the chair. The camera returns to his woozy expression and spins off it.
A while later, Joe is drifting back and forth from his drug-addled slumber; from his POV, everything is a blur, including Rochelle as she makes her return to the basement dungeon. He's able to raise his wrist and notice the manacles attached to them. The blurriness dissipates long enough for him to recognize the weaknesses in them too - these things are half-broken from their time holding Silvia. "God, it's so great seein' you like this," Rochelle smiles, "You ruined my life, and now I have the opportunity to end yours." Joe makes a grumbling noise, and Rochelle rolls her eyes, turning off her hearing aid. "That's enough o' that," she turns around, "Lemme think... lemme think... What. To. Do. Wi'. Chu." Joe stirs more, and begins to pull, and pull, and pull... and then the manacles spring open, and he's free. Still delirious, but free. He clumsily gets to his feet, while Rochelle just stands there, tapping her chin with her finger, thinking away. "Aw, I know!" she then exclaims, turning around to see the delirious Joe standing there. "Oh, snap," becomes the last thing she ever says as she reaches into her pocket for a hypodermic needle filled with more drugs, wanting to wrestle him to the ground and up his dosage, but his reflexes, through the blurriness, merely register an attack, and his old combat training springs into action and... Oh, snap indeed. Rochelle lies there, dead, her neck twisted, and it takes a while for Joe's senses to fully reassert themselves. And then, eventually, the butlers come a-knockin'...
"Joe?" one of them is heard addressing back in the present, and the butler detective is suddenly snapped out of his little trance, enough to be able to see that it's Ben who spoke to him. "Yeah?" he replies awkwardly, and Ben, even more awkward, replies, "It's done." The four of them are standing in the conveniently remote field where the real Joanna Winters was murdered - where Silvia was tasered and kidnapped - each wielding a shovel around what is now a filled-in grave. Rochelle Little's final resting place. "It's done," Ben states, dropping his shovel in exhaustion, and Joe comments that he doesn't even know where to begin thanking them. "I still don't understand why we don't just go to the police, I mean she kidnapped you," Rena exclaims as quietly as he can, and Joe says, "That's true. And I acted entirely out of self-defense, while under the influence of the drugs that she gave me... but the police in this town are also idiots. I should know, I worked for them. They can't tell their ass from their elbow. They started a riot, for Christ's sake. They falsely arrested two people for Matthew's death, not to mention the whole Jose-Tyson screw-up. They weren't able to recognize Jorgio's obvious murder for what it was. They'd take one look at the situation: an alcoholic, bitter ex-cop standing over the body of a frail woman with a broken neck and... I'd never see the light of day again." "It's true," Ben nods sullenly, "they laugh rape victims right out of the station." "Yeah..." Josh utters finally, the same thing having happened to him (see "Gritty Little Liars"). Joe then turns to Josh, and asks, "Are you doing okay, with... all this?" Josh pauses for a moment, still not entirely with it, before turning to Joe and responding with a miniature nod. "So that's it then..." Rena states, staring down at the grave he just helped dig and dropping his own shovel for a moment. "Do we know why this happened?" Ben wonders, and Joe mentions he vaguely recalls Rochelle saying something about someone paying her... "And, honestly, I think it's all connected to the people who exploded the church." This catches Josh's attention, and Ben makes sure to place an arm around his confused widower friend. "Why do you think that?" Rena wonders, and Joe points out, "Because I'm the only person in this whole damn town who's maybe capable of learning the truth... and they must know I want to as well. But they've made a mistake, because after this, I'm only more determined." "Meanwhile," Rena goes on, "we've just aided and abetted a murder." "We helped our friend in a time of need," Ben corrects. Joe nods, not having the words to thank them properly, and makes clear that the fewer people who know about this, the better. "We bury the body, we bury the secret." "Where have I heard that before?" Rena wonders. "Just... do the thing, please," Joe urges, putting his hand forward. Ben puts his atop it. Rena then does the same. Josh is the last to pile on. They disperse after, and Ben asks Joe what he's going to tell his fiancée, considering everyone thinks he just left her at the altar. Joe sighs at this, figuring he'll think of something, maybe even reveal some of the truth, "But... murder is a very dangerous thing to know about. While I'm so grateful to you guys... I'm also so sorry." "Don't be," Josh tells him, finally snapping out of it some, "What else are friends for if not to shoulder a burden? And what else are butlers for if not to help take care of a big mess..." A moment washes over them; they look to one another, trying to smile through the daunting situation, knowing soon they must leave. "Alright," Joe breaks the silence, clapping his hands together in an attempt to lighten the mood, "We should get going." He stares down at the grave one last time. "And maybe call James; tell him there's a cleaning job on Fanon Drive that's just become available." They pick up their shovels and begin to disperse.


Act I

It's a new day on Fanon Drive, and Liz is finishing up a morning run. She stops for a minute having become out of breath and chugs some of the water she brought with her... only to then spit it out because she's doesn't believe that zero calories is a thing. She's about back at the Del Barrio mansion so she chooses to walk the rest of the way, but just as she's about to cross over the property line she hears noise across the street. She looks to see that at none than her ex-husband's house a pink moving van is parked in the driverway with Valentina Cortez moving things out of the truck and into the house. Confused, she goes to investigate, only to find that it's Kathryn instructing the maid. "I plan to have this place remodeled, so fit as much into the closets as you can. You'll find them to be quite spacious," the future Mrs. Davis exclaims, smirking at the thought of the former Mrs. Davis' old shenanigans. "No, puta, really?! I live here," Val exclaims, reminding the reader that she does still in fact work for Eli, full time now since losing her job at the Del Barrios'. "Just... move faster," Kathryn says, expressing no interest in communicating more with the help. "Look at me! Do you not see I'm like a thousand months pregnant here?! With twins!" "Honestly I thought you were just fat, but Eli told me to stop fat shaming people so I chose not to say anything. I guess I'm supposed to leave that to Nicole Arbour." Val just rolls her eyes though, proceeding to drop the heavy box she was carrying and just walk inside, announcing that she's done and taking her break now. "Someone's moody today," Kathryn exclaims, only to then hear an "Oh, hell no." She turns to find Liz storming over to her. "Oh, good morning, Liz... well, it was at least." "What do you think you're doing?!" the redhead asks, to which Kathryn asks what does it look like she's doing, elaborating that she's moving in with her fiancé; she proceeds to hold up her hand, showing off her ring. "And of all the places in Wikerly Hills, you're choosing here? Fanon Drive? My turf?" "Oh, sweetheart, it's not your turf. And besides, you know that Eli already has a home here. Did you expect him to pack up and sell the place once we got married?" "Well that was kind of the one up-side to all of this." "Aw, chin up," Kathryn exclaims, caressing Liz's face, "we're gonna be neighbors, so you might as well make the best of it." But Liz smacks Kathryn's hand away, who decides to excuse herself. "I gotta go," she says, "Need to make sure my maid doesn't devour the kitchen or anything. Such an inconvenience, really. I've wanted Eli to fire her for weeks, but apparently she's pregnant or something so obvi that'd look bad. Anyways, toodles!" Though Liz cries out that this isn't over, Kathryn ignores her redheaded rival and heads inside. The first-and-still-sorta current Mrs. Davis proceeds to storm back to the Del Barrio mansion in a fit of rage, passing Ben who is only just now getting home from the night before. "I'd ask where the hell you were last night," Liz says, causing the butler to freeze in his tracks, "but Kathryn Kappelletti makes me so mad that I could go out and shoot a pig... Will you... will you make me some bacon? But like, don't tell anyone, please," Liz begs. Ben starts to go calm again and just gives his boss' girlfriend a nod. "I'll get on it," he says, as the two proceed inside.
We next see Ben serving breakfast to Ali, Liz, Marvin (Ali's father), and Cassie (Ali's sister), while also slipping Liz some bacon wrapped in tinfoil underneath the table. Ali can clearly see this, but chooses to not address her girlfriend's insecurities. Instead she thanks Ben for the food, who sits down in a seat next to her. "Wow, Ali," Marvin speaks up, "you are a real champ, dining with the help. If I had money like you, I don't think I could ever." Ali decides to straight up ignore him though, as she's done for the most of the past week or so that he's been in town. He chooses not to speak anything of it, instead turning to his other daughter, suggesting that she thank the kind butler for her meal. "Thank you, Mr. Ben," she speaks up, and Ben looks up from his own meal and gives her a smile and a nod before looking back down, also not being in a talk-y mood. Liz, who's subtly picking from the bacon she has hidden in her lap, takes notice of all the silence. She's used to it coming from Ali since her family got here, but it's different from Ben. "So," she says, deciding to break the ice, "Kathryn Kappelletti's a real bitch, ain't she?" But she then receives a glare from all three other adults in the room who each nod their head at Cassie - an impressionable child - resulting in Liz quickly apologizing. "I meant she's a real... oh screw it, yeah, I meant what I said." "Well, Liz," Marvin says, "if you have a problem with this woman then have you tried talking to her about it? Ignoring and presumably complaining behind one's back solves nothing," Ali's father exclaims, forcing eye contact with his eldest daughter, who looks indignant at this. "Meh, I'd rather indirect her some on Twitter, but thanks for the advice." She then looks at Ben an Ali. "See, at least someone's talking," the ginger exclaims, but Ben and Ali continue chewing their food. Liz rolls her eyes, looking around more, but finally notices that there's an empty seat at the table. "And where the hell is Rochelle?!" she wonders, causing Ben to choke a bit, not that anyone notices as Ali and Marvin both give Liz another glare. "Oh come on, 'hell' isn't a bad word," Liz says, "but seriously, first Ben was out all night, but Rochelle too? What gives? Two new houseguests, one less employee. This place is gonna become filthy." Everyone now turns to Ben, who's just staring down at his plate, trying to not die from the piece of food stuck in his throat, but also not wanting to attract any more attention. Finally though, he looks up, and seeing all eyes on him causes him to put up his hand and stand, finally force swallowing the piece of fun. "I don't think I'm hungry anymore," he meekly announces, "so if you will excuse me..." And he proceeds to take his plate and exit the dining room. Then there were four... but Ali then stands as well, finally speaking up and stating that she's lost her appetite and leaves. Awkward silence commences, but then: "Hey, sweetie," Liz turns to Cassie, "do you know how to work a broom?" She feigns a smile.

Joanna is sitting at home, still in her wedding dress, downing wine straight from the bottle. In fact, several empty bottles rest nearby, and around the floor, and the remnants of some are even in the corners of the living room from where she's thrown them against the wall in anger. Dawn leaks through the closed drapes and stings her tear-strewn eyes, and then she sobs again, spilling some more wine down the front of her already rather stained white gown and blowing her nose into one of her petticoats before downing some more. It's then that the key turns in the lock to her front door, and she turns with a gasp. And then... enter Joe, still in his roughed-up wedding tuxedo, just coming in from all the extracurricular murder cover-up work he's had to go do. "Hey..." he utters, staring awkwardly at his would-be bride before shutting the door behind him, and immediately her now empty wine bottle is launched straight at his head. He has to very quickly duck to the side to avoid being hit, and so it just hits the door frame and shatters. "What the hell?!" Joe exclaims, to which Joanna, removing one of her nice shoes with a broken heel, yells, "Where have you been?!" She then throws the shoe at him, and he has to move to avoid that too. "You left me at the altar!" she cries, removing her other shoe and getting to her feet, only for Joe to cower and promise, "I can explain!" Joanna stands there, shoe at the ready, and roars in a deep rage, "I'm. Listening." "I didn't leave you at the altar," Joe promises. "Um, I was there, at the altar - you weren't. I think that's what they're still calling it." She goes to throw the shoe, only for Joe to cry out, "I was kidnapped!" Joanna stops in her tracks, dropping the shoe to the floor, and asks, "What?" "I was kidnapped," Joe states again, "Look at me." And then she does. She takes a look at his muddy suit, the tear in the leg where the window caught him, his overall horror-striking appearance, and she asks, "By whom?" "It doesn't matter," Joe assures. "I'll think you'll find it does," she exclaims, picking the shoe back up, and Joe tells her, "I got away, okay? That's the important thing. But... I do think it has something to do with the people who exploded the church." "N-Nadia?" Joanna utters, horrified, and Joe slumps his shoulders, "Maybe." "I... I..." she continues to cry, and so Joe moves over to hug her, and she squeezes him tight. "Ow!" he cries, clutching his side, and he adds, "Sorry, bruise." "From what?" "I don't know exactly..." he utters genuinely.
Flash back to the night before. Rochelle pushing forward on the remote control and sending that wheelchair hurtling down the Del Barrio basement steps.
"I'm so glad you're okay," she tells him. "Me too," he utters, "And now... it's time to find these bastards and make 'em pay." Joanna nods, wondering where he'll start, and Joe recalls, "Didn't you mention something in your whole life-story-extravaganza about the Kappellettis bankrolling your old terrorist organization?" Joanna nods again, and Joe figures, "They're as good a place to start snooping as any. Feel like coming with?" "I best stay out of their way," Joanna figures, "Now that it's possible Nadia might know I'm not the real Joanna, I don't wanna risk that they know too. I'm just... actually, there was something I was wanting to go do. So, I'll be fine. You stay safe, okay?" "Okay, I promise." "I love you," she promises in turn. "I love you too," and then they share a kiss. Joanna starts weeping again, commenting that they should have been doing this at the altar, and Joe tells her he knows, "And we will. Eventually. Preferably in a new dress. I'm sorry about this one. I'm sure it looked beautiful before..." "Meh," says Joanna, "It belonged to my sister, it's what she wore to marry Matthew. I didn't have time to pick out a new one and, to be honest, I've sorta been looking to wreck it for ages." Joe cracks a smile at this, and another kiss is exchanged.

Across town, meanwhile, Maria Solano is just now waking up on her day off. She's relieved to have her bed to herself again, also being able to look up and smile at the fact that the channel hasn't been changed on the TV. A Hallmark movie currently plays as Miss Solano is now boycotting Lifetime due to the cancellation of The Passions of Falta. However, Mary is unable to enjoy the movie playing for too much longer as she hears the opening and subsequent closing of a door. Quickly, she sits up with her eyes widening, and she reaches into her bedside drawer for the revolver she keeps for protection. From there she gets up, heading out to investigate what's going on, and sure enough she can see a shadow coming from the kitchen. She raises the gun, slowly approaching. "Freeze!" she exclaims, entering, but is shocked to find that's just Rena, raising his hands with a microwavable breakfast burrito dangling from his mouth. Rolling her eyes, Mary lowers the gun and asks how the hell did he get into her penthouse. "I still have my copy of your key," he says, chewing and swallowing a bite of his burrito, "Why are you so worked up?" "I just... wasn't expecting you, is all," she says, putting the gun on the table, but then recalling that she made Rena give back his key to her apartment. "I made duplicates in case of an emergency," he shrugs, but to his girlfriend's complete and utter annoyance. "Rena, go home," she begs, "We're going out tonight, remember?" She then takes a proper look at him though, noticing that he's covered a bit in dirt. "And clean up some, yikes. What's that all about?" Rena's eyes then widen, realizing that with everything that happened the night before, with burying a body and all that, he never really had time to clean up afterwards. "I... the Montgomerys, they were having me do morning yard work... which, yeah, is why I'm skipping work right now and hanging out here. They've been working me to death all week, preparing for this big neighborhood dinner party that they're throwing. You're my plus one, by the way." Trying to get into Mary's good graces though, he adds, "And I just wanna spend time with my favorite girl." "Flattering," she sarcastically responds, but Rena then points to his laptop that he currently has sat on the dining room table, revealing, "I was also looking for some peace and quiet here to work on my screenplay." Knowing that there's no chance of her boyfriend going away, Mary sighs and decides to indulge him some, at least being somewhat interested in this current project of his. "Do you want me to look at it?" she wonders, but Rena shakes his head. "The thing is," he explains, "there's not really anything to look at... yet." She points out to him that it's been a week, something that he knows. "It's just I don't know what to write about," he finally admits, "I've had multiple ideas: me and my friends as schoolboys and exploring themes of desperation, a small town being invaded by a secret government organization, even perverted spins on old fables and fairytales. Nothing seems to click." "Well let me just say, all of those ideas sound absolutely horrendous." Rena frowns at this. "But they're also all so... out there," Mary continues, "Try to find something that hits close to home. Family, past experiences... you mentioned your friends - maybe play with that a little." Rena nods, "Okay. I might be able to do that," he says, "Thank you." Mary smiles, but then announces: "Anyways, I'm gonna go take a shower. I'd invite you to join me, but I really just don't wanna. At least try to be gone by the time I get out?" Rena frowns again, but Mary gives him a kiss. "See you tonight?" she reminds him, and Rena nods, "See ya." Mary proceeds to head for her shower and Rena, now left alone, looks down at his computer still having no idea what to write about; as such, he takes another bite of his breakfast burrito.

Elsewhere in Wikerly Hills, we see Joanna meeting with local OBGYN Dr. Strange for what is actually her second appointment since coming to realize her desire to have a child. "I'm surprised you were able to get back to me so soon," she says to Strange who in turn, not knowing that his patient is in fact just acting as the impostor of her long deceased twin sister, admits that he is too, pointing out that it's odd for one to disregard their entire medical history and insist on new tests for absolutely everything. Joanna awkwardly smiles at this, in her mind knowing that this is one time where she must be truthful with herself, and so she asks if there was anything the OBGYN had any concern over. "Right," he says, "I suppose we should get into this. You... might want to have a seat." "I'm... already sat down," Joanna points out, in fact actually sitting in a chair adjacent to her doctor. "Oh... yeah, okay. Well then I'm gonna have a seat." Which he does. "That's not a good sign..." Joanna utters, and so Strange cuts to the chase: "Mrs. Winters, please pardon my French, but how the hell are you still breathing?" "Excuse me?!" Joanna exclaims, and so the doctor clarifies, "I've gone over your tests again and again. You were quite the odd case walking in here last week, so I'll admit I made you a priority. I've never seen anything like this before. The blood tests we did for you... ma'am, that's not blood flowing through your veins, that's wine. You're living off wine. Literally." "So I kick back and have a glass of red every now and then, so what? You're over exaggerating." "No, Mrs. Winters, it's almost as if you've been excessively drinking wine every single second of every single day for over a decade." The camera then pans to Jo who's attempting to be discreet about pulling a flask from her purse. "Oh my God," Strange utters in disgust, and so Joanna finally admits that maybe it is more than just one glass. "But I still want a baby!" she pleads, "I'll cut back!" "I'm sorry, Mrs. Winters, but it's far too late for that. With what your body's gone through, it's humanly impossible for you to conceive a child. And even if you and your fiancé do somehow miraculously conceive, there's about a one in a million chance of it living... not including any of the potential health risks such as your offspring being born with any sort of physical or mental disorder or even you dying during childbirth." "I see," Joanna says in response, rather disappointed and feeling somewhat ashamed. "Mrs. Winters, if I'm to be frank, your lifestyle... it's pretty disturbing. I mean, you're clearly a medical miracle. I'm not even sure you have a liver anymore, honestly. But hey, you're still here, at least." "Are you done picking me apart?" Joanna asks, starting to become frustrated, which becomes clear to Strange and so he apologizes. He flips through his papers containing his client's test results and eventually finds an adoption pamphlet. "If you're dead-set on having a child then I suggest you look at one of these," he says, "Sure, it may not be your ideal situation. The adoption process is rather tedious and can take up to years, but I'm afraid it's one of your only options. Now if you'd like--" "No, that's quite alright," Joanna says, standing up, "I'm just gonna go now. Thank you for your time." "Mrs. Winters--" But Jo shakes her head, insisting that that'll be all. She proceeds to exit the room, a single tear rolling down her cheek.

Josh waywardly wanders the hall outside Brad's apartment, having finally worked his way back home after the burial. His clothes, like the others, are a little muddy, and some of it comes off on his face when he wipes his brow, exhausted. He then makes it to the door and takes out his key - the very same one that Brad gifted him all that time ago (see "Malice in Workerland") - and he stares at it and smiles as the memory overcomes him. "'And of course, the key is supposed to say something,'" he mutters to himself in a quiet tone, followed by, "'So it's a talking key?'... 'No, I mean, say something about us. That...'" Suddenly, however, he is snapped out of it because he notices that the door to the apartment is already open. Frightened that he's facing a burglary, Josh slots the key between two of his fingers for self-defense, then cautiously entering. The apartment is full of several men in jumpsuits, carrying various possessions of Brad's - repo men. "Who the hell are you people?!" Josh exclaims. "Um..." one of the repo men replies, "We weren't aware anyone was still living here. The rent hasn't been paid for months. We've been told to clean the place out." "You can't just do this!" Josh yells, offended, "I'd have to have received some kind of notice or..." There is a large pile of neglected mail on the floor beside the coffee table, which two of the repo men lift up. "Put that down!" Josh orders, then seeing one of them go by with one of Brad's lamps, "These things belong to my husband! Let go of them!" He seizes the lamp for himself and wrestles the repo man for it. "Sir, I beg of you, please--" Josh succeeds in taking the lamp and the man falls to the ground because of it. "Okay, that's it, sir," the original speaker comes forward, grabbing Josh by the arm, "You're going to have to--" He tugs on Josh's arm and causes him to drop the lamp, making it smash all over the floor. "No!" Josh cries, one of his husband's possessions now destroyed, and he looks at the repo man who made him drop it with pure rage etched upon his face, at which point his punches him. Thanks to the key still between his fingers, the man's cheek is cut, and Josh screams to them, "I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU TAKE ANY MORE OF BRAD'S THINGS!!" He stands in front of the door, spreading himself out, blocking the exit with his body. "AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!" The injured repo men look to one another.
Josh is next seen being shut into a cell over at the Wikerly Hills police station, the bars casting a shadow over his still slightly muddy face. "Not how I expected that to go," he acknowledges to himself.

Act II

Rena is sat at the dining room table of the old Washington/new Montgomery house, his laptop up and open, ready to again try writing his screenplay. He puts his hands on the keyboard, having opened up a Word document, but he frowns when he realizes he still has nothing. "What are you doing there, son?" a voice calls out, and Rena looks up to see it's Jason. "Oh," the butler exclaims awkwardly, "I was just gonna take my break early." "After already coming in mid-afternoon?" Mr. Montgomery questions, furrowing a brow. "Iiiiiiii have no good explanation for that," Rena admits, but Jason chuckles. "Know that the only reason I'm going easy on you right now is because my wife sure as hell will not be." "RENATO!" "And here she comes," Jason says to the butler, as Silvia enters the dining room and Jason exits it. "You were supposed to have hired a catering staff already. I called the agency to confirm, but they claim no such thing. Explain?" "Yeah, about that--" "Also I noticed the invitations haven't been delivered yet, the china hasn't been selected, and today's batch of iced tea has not been iced," this last part resulting in an ever-so legitimate and ever-so painful gasp from the butler. "The only reason you haven't been fired yet is because you're one of my son's nearest and dearest friends, and I'm trying to get into his good graces. But it doesn't help that even after sticking a taser to my back, repeatedly nonetheless, you seem to defy my every request." "The tasering bit might work in my screenplay," Rena mutters under his breath, contemplating, resulting in Silvia shouting his name again to regain his attention. "Right, sorry about that and all. And the catering staff, on it. I know a guy or two who might be interested." "That doesn't sound promising in the slightest," Mrs. Montgomery voices, but Rena clearly doesn't care as he's back to looking at his laptop screen. "What the hell are you doing on that damned computer that's more important than your job?!" "I'm trying to write a screenplay," he reveals, "but I keep being interrupted... and I've got no clue what to write about. Mary said to write from my life, but I can't think of anything interesting about being a butler. I mean there was the whole BDSM thing and my kidnapping, but yunno, Fifty Shades of Grey and Misery beat me to it." Silvia nods at all of this, going on to say: "Right, forget I ever asked. Just... at least send out the invitations today," she begs, going to exit the room before stopping. "And for the love of God," she remembers, "Make sure that if you run into Rochelle Little that she knows she is not welcomed here." Rena freezes at this, Silvia having triggered her butler's memories of the night before. "Will do," Rena utters, and Silvia exits the room.
Flashes then go through the butler's head of Joe standing over the dead maid's corpse, and then of him digging and subsequently burying the body.
However, we then flash even further back to the night the truth about Jose's murder came out. We see through Rena's POV as Joe comes up behind Justine, hitting her with Matthew's urn and causing her to fall to her untimely death. ("Drop Dead Devious")
Then some months later but still in the past where, again through Rena's POV, we see Joe getting Silvia and Rochelle to both come forward with their decades-old tale. ("The Peasant and the Devious")
In the present, Rena is now coming to a revelation: "I might not have an interesting story as a butler," he says, "but I do know someone who does..." He proceeds to run out of the room, catching up to Silvia who is now conversing with Jason in another room. "I'll send out the invites later," he says, "but yeah gotta go sorry baiiiiii." And with that, the butler heads out the door of the Montgomery house, Silvia and Jason both standing in disgust at how awful their butler really is.

"You can't keep me here forever!" Josh keeps on yelling from behind bars, grabbing onto them and shaking some, "My husband is a lawyer, you hear me?! And we are gonna sue your arses!" "Calm down, Gibbons," one of the cops from the station orders. "Don't you tell me to calm down!" Josh screeches, "Those men were breaking-and-entering! They were stealing our things, and you arrest me?!" "Gibbons," the cop says more pointedly, "You're free to go." "Another another thing," he begins, and then, "Say what now?" "You've been bailed out," the cop makes clear. Josh takes a moment, finally releasing his grip on the bars, "Oh. Well, good. Brad finally made it then." The cop rolls his eyes as he takes out the key and unlocks the cell, allowing Josh to come out. "So," the British butler would like to know, "where is he?" "He?" the cop questions. "He," Josh states more clearly, "My husband, the man who bailed me out, where is he?" "Dunno who you're talkin' about," the cop adds with a very casual interest, "But you were bailed out by some lady." He then walks away, and Josh furrows his brow in a deep confusion. He then gets a look of deep anger, thinking he knows. "If you think you can make up for everything by bailing me out again, Joanna, then you can just think ag--" "Hi, Joshie," comes the refined British accent of an older woman, and Josh goes still. The woman who emerges is not Joanna - it's Regina Gibbons, Josh's mother. "M... mum?" Josh utters, utterly taken aback. She gives him a small smile, and he steps back, murmuring, "No." "Yes," she smiles. "H-how did you even know I was here? I don't--" "I was made your emergency contact," Regina reveals, "After your husband sadly passed." "What?" Josh asks, unable to make sense of anything she just said, "You're supposed to be in the UK, you..." "I flew out a few weeks ago, I... I've been plucking up the courage to come visit you. I wanted it to be under different circumstances but, alas, here we are. You're looking..." she takes note of the mud on his face, his haphazard appearance, and gulps, "well." She forces a smile. "No," he says again, "you don't get to just... to just come here, and... and act like everything's okay between us, because it's not. It's been years, okay? You can't just... you can't just..." "I know," Regina makes clear, "I made a real mess of things, once upon a time. But things are different now. I'm different. I promise. I just... want to talk. Please. Let me treat you to lunch or to dinner or even just a cup of tea, something." "I have no interest in hearing anything you have to s--" "Gibbons," the cop suddenly returns, "Good job you're still here. I almost forgot to return this." He takes out the key to Brad's apartment, handing it back to Josh before walking away once more. Josh stares down at it in his hand, and a small tear leaks out. He holds the key close to his heart, and his mother utters, "Joshie?" "Lunch," he murmurs, and his mother asks, "What?" "You can take me to lunch, or dinner, or whatever time it is. And we can... you can talk." "O-okay," Regina nods, smiling, and Josh tells her that he just needs a minute to go clean up. He heads to the bathroom and begins running water from the faucet, cleaning up his face and then staring in the mirror. The key has been pocketed safely. "Last time I was here," he weeps, "It was right before I met you I... I'd been hurt, I... I needed a lawyer. And there you were. I love you so much." (see "Gritty Little Liars" and "How to Run Away with Chauffeurs"). He then takes the key from out of his pocket and kisses it tearfully, muttering to himself, "'I love you, too.'" He then wipes up his face some more and heads out to regroup with his previously estranged mother.

Elsewhere, over at the Del Barrio mansion, Ben is standing on a ladder cleaning the foyer's chandelier while Ali is quietly making her way to the door, hoping to slip out without her family noticing. She and Ben look at one another though, making eye contact, and give a slight nod before Ali grabs her keys and begins to head out. However, Ben calls out for her: "Wait," he says, "what's going on?... with you and your father, I mean." Ali turns back to the butler, closing the mansion door, and tells him that it's complicated. Ben decides to give up on cleaning the chandelier for now, making his way down the ladder. "Come on," he begs once at Ali's level, "He's been here for a week and no progress has been made. What's up?" At first Ali is hesitant, but she then remembers that if there's anyone in the whole world that she knows for sure that she can trust then it's Ben. "Fine," she finally breaks down, "the thing with my father is that... there's some things that happened when I was younger that I can't exactly get past. My mom had died, and... I just saw this new side to him. And it worries me, okay? I know I'm being cryptic here, but I'm just worried about myself and Cassie." "Well what does that mean?" Ben wonders, "Is he dangerous?" "I... I don't know," she admits, "Even before I ended up with Jorgio, he and I stopped talking about a year or so before. I didn't even know I had a sister until last week, I just... I don't know what to do." Tears are starting to build up in Ali's eyes as she assures Ben that she wants to tell him the full story, she really does, but there's a few things she still needs to work out for herself first. "But what I do know is that I don't want my sister anywhere near that man," she cries, and so Ben pulls her in close for a hug. "I'm so sorry," the butlers says to his employer, "Liz and I never should've--" "No!" Ali exclaims, "You and Liz were right to get in touch with him because I probably never would have. Without you guys, I never would've known about Cassie, and... I think I need to help her." "So what are you waiting for?" Ben asks, pointing out, "Things are different now. You're not the same girl you were ten or eleven years ago. Hell, even a year ago. You've grown so much, and I know that you're strong enough to do whatever needs to be done." Ali pulls Ben in tighter, continuing to weep quietly, but Ben reaches over for a box of Kleenex and insists Ali wipe her tears away. She does so, finally starting to come to, and even laughs some at the fact that she ended up like this so easily. "Don't be ashamed," Ben insists, "Just go do what needs to be done." Ali nods, proceeding to thank Ben for comforting her, and he assures that it was no problem. "I'll always be there for you," he adds, and Ali smiles, ever-so-grateful. She turns to leave, but then stops, looking back at the butler before he starts back up the ladder. "Wait," she exclaims, "you now know why I've been acting off all week, but what was going on with you this morning at breakfast?" Ben looks away for a moment, feeling awkward having been reminded again of the night before. Burying a body and all that. "Right, um..." Ben answers, coming up with something on the spot, "Just Val." A lie. "The whole court ruling and what not, just been kinda depressed from it is all." "Oh... okay," Ali replies, unsure if she really believes this or not, "Well if you wanna talk later, maybe even strategize some then let me know." "I will," Ben lies, proceeding to thank her. That said and done, Ms. Del Barrio proceeds to leave and Ben lets out a sigh. He takes a look around the foyer, a shiver going down his spine at the thought of it being where Rochelle Little drew her last breaths. He proceeds back up the ladder and continues cleaning the chandelier.

"No, these aren't the ties we agreed on for the finale!" Kerwin is exclaiming over at the Kappelletti mansion, which is absolutely swarming with crewmembers and the like, "Wardrobe!" "No; no wardrobe!" Kevin busts in, "I selected these ties after the meeting." "They're apricot!" "Yeah, well, Kathryn hates apricot!" "So do I!" They continue to squabble, and Joe can hear them yelling from outside as he approaches the mansion, ready to investigate a little. As he approaches the front door, a security guard stops him, asking him what he's doing there. "Are you a fan?" she wonders, "Because we don't let fans on set. Send a tweet to one of the Kappellettis and they'd be happy to mail you an autograph." "Oh, no, I'm not here for an autograph," Joe assures, "I'm actually the Kappellettis' butler." "Are you now?" the guard asks, looking Joe up and down, clearly suspicious. "Yup," Joe promises, seeing Killian entering the place with a latte in tow, "In fact he hired me. So, if you don't mind." "Hey, Mr. K," the security guard calls out to Killian, who turns, wondering if she means him. She nods, and then she asks, "You hire this guy as a butler?" Joe appears a tad nervous, trying his best to hide it, and, before Killian can answer, the former cop exclaims, "Of course you did! Remember the interview just last week?" "No..." Killian admits, scratching his chin, "But I do forget a lot..." Joe feigns a giggle, telling the security guard, "This is our bit. If you'll just excuse me. Mr. K, need me to prep your chair?" "Sure," Killian shrugs, and Joe just wanders on inside, followed by the less-than-intelligent celebrity brother. He begins plumping out one of the living room armchairs, saying to Killian, "So, you guys are filming the finale, huh?" One of his eyes remains on the room, looking for anything which might be construed as a clue. "Yeah," Killian says, sitting down on the chair, "Since Lifetime gave us the axe, we sorta have to wrap things up." "Shame, shame..." Joe nods, casually looking through some dresser drawers. However, one of the drawers breaks off, because it is in fact a prop dresser. "What are you doing?" Killian wonders, and Joe, ditching the drawer handle, lies, "I'm just looking for an apricot tie. You wanna match your brothers, don't you?" "Not really," Killian replies, "I'm kinda mad at them, they didn't blow up the house." "Excuse me?" "Just the set part!" Killian defends, "I mean, it's a series finale, you have to blow up something, yanno? It'd be totally cool! But 'not without Troy' they said." "Troy?" Joe questions, intrigued some. "Troy O'Neil. Best stunt coordinator in the business. Master of movie explosions, we've known him for years." "And he wouldn't agree to do it?" Joe inquires. "Well, no one knows where he is," Killian shrugs, "Dropped off the face of the Earth about six or so months ago." "Is that so...?" Joe questions, intrigued. "Hey!" Kevin then exclaims from across set, approaching Joe, "Aren't you that butler who returned my wife's purse to her last year after she was mugged?" (see "Goldilocks and the Four Butlers"). "Uh... yeah," Joe recalls, and Kevin looks him up and down, stating, "Get out. Anyone who helps that bitch is not welcome in this half-set-half-home! I mean, she thinks she can just remarry this soon after walking out on us?!" "I don't suppose you ever met her friend, Rochelle Little?" Joe wonders. "The black wheelchair lady? Um... barely? Now get out!" "Hey, leave him alone, he's my butler!" Killian yells, standing up. "For God's sake, I'd rather have a noose around my neck than this ugly-ass tie!" Kerwin screams as he too approaches. "That can be arranged!" Kevin roars. As the brothers continue to scrap, Joe awkwardly slips away, still snooping some on his way out on the off-chance.

On Fanon Drive, meanwhile, the stray Kappelletti is sitting in her front lawn in a beach chair and sipping a mimosa as she supervises her ever-so-pregnant maid in re-shingling the entire roof of her new home. "You're doing great, hun," Kathryn shouts at Val who is on the verge of passing out from the immense heat and exhaustion, but manages to work up enough energy to put up her middle finger for her new boss to see. Ms. Kappelletti just sips her drink though, choosing to look away just as Liz is making her way down the Drive on her way home from a day of filming. "Hey, neighbor!" Kathryn calls out with a wave, "Just doing a little remodeling here. Want me to have Val pour you a drink too?" But the Hispanic maid lunges one of the shingles at her boss, only just missing her, not that she notices anyway. Liz slams on her car breaks though, stepping out of the vehicle and approaching her arch nemesis. "What's it gonna take to get you the hell off my street?!" the redhead wonders, "Money?! Promoting?! What?!" "Aw, but why would I go anywhere?" Kathryn wonders, pointing out, "You might have the spotlight now, but as long as I'm here with Eli as a constant reminder of the worse parts of your life then, well, I've won." It's then that Eli makes his way out of the Davis house carrying a mimosa of his own, but is annoyed to find his ex-wife there waiting. "Dear God," he utters, while Val has meanwhile given up re-shingling the roof, no longer having the energy to give a damn. However, she has been keeping up with the interactions between Liz and Kathryn, and with Eli being pulled into things she decides now is the perfect time to take out her phone and start recording. "You poor, miserable excuse of a man," Liz barks at her ex, "You're really gonna stick around on Fanon Drive with what I can only assume is nothing more than a piece of ass to you just to piss me off?" "Liz--" Eli tries, but she puts her hand up insisting that it's her turn to talk. "Seriously, it's not enough to just throw me out onto the streets and expose me to the world, but now that I've finally found my way again and gotten myself up you have to do this too?!" "I really think you're blowing this way out of proportion," Eli admits, but Liz refuses to accept this. "No!" she says, pretty much losing it at this point, "It's obvious that you're both teaming up to go after me. You're trying to use this new alliance of yours that you're passing off as a relationship to hurt me. You think Ali and my movie aren't enough to make me happy." "No one even mentioned Ali," Eli points out, to which Kathryn questions, "Wait, which one is Ali again?" "Shut up!" Liz barks, "Both of you just shut the hell up!" Val, meanwhile, is enjoying all of this from the roof, still recording as Liz goes on to say: "You, Kathryn, are nothing but a petty slut. And you, Eli, are just really bad in bed and I wish you the absolute worst. Both of you. Drop dead for all I care. In fact, it sure would do wonders for your complexion." With that, Liz starts to storm away, returning to her car to drive home, believing that she's said her part. Val hits "stop" on her recording, slipping her phone back into her bra, and Eli and Kathryn just stare at Liz and each other in absolute shock.


Back at the Winters' mansion, Joe is at his laptop, doing research on Troy O'Neil. "This guy came out of nowhere like a decade ago and then just vanished without a trace..." he murmurs. "Talking to yourself?" Joanna questions as she enters her home, bringing with her a handful of mail, "I do hope the visions haven't returned." "And I hope it's really you standing there," Joe adds jokingly. She smiles at him, flicking through envelopes, and points out, "You know, since we didn't get married 'n' all, I think that means you're still technically my butler. Ergo, why am I fetching my own mail?" "Because it wouldn't be as dramatically relevant if I were the one to receive a bloody knife or opera glasses," he points out, and his fiancée shrugs, saying, "Guess you're right." "But if I am still your butler, can I fix you a glass of wine?" "Uh... nah," Joanna decides. Joe then looks up at her, a little afraid, "You okay?" "I'm fine," she smiles. She then moves to join him on the couch, wondering, "So when are we gonna try the wedding again?" "When I know for sure I'm not gonna be dragged out a window," Joe states, and Mrs. Winters asks if he was able to pump anything out of the Kappellettis. "Less than I'd have hoped, but not nothing," Joe assures, skim-reading a few more web pages, and Joanna goes, "Hmmm..." "What?" Joe asks, turning to see that she's staring at a particular envelope, and Joanna reveals, "It's from your mom. Or our new neighbor, rather." Joe raises an eyebrow. She then uses her manicured nail to slice the thing open, taking out... "It's an invitation. Seems she's throwing a 'Welcome to the Neighborhood' dinner party for herself sometime soon, wants us to come." Joe smirks at this, "As if." "You don't wanna go?" Joanna questions. "Please," Joe scoffs, "as if I'd willingly go back into that woman's home. Or even associate with her in any way. She's nothing to me." "Not... not nothing," Joanna finds herself defending, appearing somewhat sympathetic, "I mean, she's your mother." "Meghan Jepsen is my mother," Joe makes clear. "And she told you you should build a relationship with this woman," Joanna reminds, "And honestly... I agree. Every woman..." she takes a deep breath, "She deserves the chance to try and be a mother." "She killed a woman," Joe points out. "I killed a woman," Joanna points out in turn, "And you let me do a lot more to you than invite you over for dinner. And all your friends will be there, I'll be there, you'll be fine." She rubs his shoulder with her hand. "Why do you care so much?" Joe wonders. "I don't," Joanna tries to shrug off, "It's just... parents and children. It's an important thing... is all." Joe raises an eyebrow, taking the invitation from her and inspecting it a little. "Fine..." he eventually concedes, "I guess I could attend the salad course or whatever. But if the food sucks..." "We'll leave immediately," Joanna jokes, "Won't even tell that bitch goodbye." "Or if the wine sucks," Joe jokes further, and Joanna murmurs, "Haha, yeah." "Are you sure you don't want me to fix you a glass?" Joe wonders, and Joanna looks as though she's fighting back tears, eventually sighing and saying, "You know what...? I'll fix one for myself. You get on with your investigating or whatever." She indeed gets up to go do this, giving him a kiss as she does, and Joe replies, "I fear there's not all that much more to investigate, and--" His phone buzzes. He takes it out and checks it. "Huh, that's weird." "What is?" Joanna asks, already clutching a fresh bottle. "Rena just texted me. Wants me to go meet him at Mary's. Guess I'll go see what it's about." "You sure it's important?" Joanna asks, pouring herself a glass. "All caps," Joe reveals. "Well, he is a drama queen," Jo reminds, and Joe laughs, saying he'll go nonetheless. "Catch you later, sweetie." He gets up to go kiss her goodbye, and afterwards she takes a heavy-hearted sip of wine, paradoxically in need of the comfort it provides.

Joe stands at the front door of Mary's penthouse as it's opened by Rena who smiles, thanking him for being able to make it. However, Mary soon comes up behind the two, having made her way home in time to see it being overrun. "Oh for crying out loud," she exclaims, rolling her eyes at the two men entering her home without her permission. "Mary," Rena exclaims, "you're right on time. Come in." The butler does all this with a smile, somehow oblivious to the fact that his girlfriend isn't approving of it in the slightest. "Well if you insist," she sarcastically exclaims, channeling all of her strength into not striking the man she's in a committed relationship with. Rena closes the door once his friend and girlfriend are inside, and directs them to the sofa where he has laid out a glass of water and a martini, respectively. "So what's this all about? Joe wonders, to which Rena replies, "Right, I suppose we should get right to it," something Mary agrees with him on. "So as you all know, I've been attempting to write a screenplay the past week." "Um, actually I didn't know," Joe admits, to which Mary responds that it was the only way to get Rena off her back. "Can he even write?" Joe asks the writer/director/producer, but Miss Solano simply shrugs her shoulders. "Guys," Rena exclaims, trying to regain their attention, "eyes on me, please and thank you." "Right, sorry," Joe apologizes, and Mary downs her martini. "Anyways," Rena says, moving forward, "in the last week I've been having trouble. I just didn't know what to write about. Mary suggested writing from my life, but anything writable had already been done." "Is there a point to this?" Mary wonders, growing bored, and Rena motions that she be quiet as he's getting there. "However," Rena exclaims, back on topic, "while there's not really a story behind my life as a butler there is one behind yours, Joe... Actually there's like five, but they all mix together and make my brain hurt except the first one." "Oh?" Joe responds, and Rena continues, "You became a butler to find out who really killed Jose. You befriended all of us, got multiple jobs, and snooped the whole damn neighborhood until you cracked the case. There's also the addition of your love interest as well as potential subplots based around your friends. The story is basically already written; all I would have to do is put it down on paper... well, a Word document, but yeah." "I like it," Mary finally speaks up in a positive manner; she then turns to Joe, exclaiming, "He's actually right. A mystery-solving butler, that's never been done before. If this is done correctly, it could be a real hit." "Well I'm flattered," Joe tells both Rena and Mary, "If you think people wanna hear this story then by all means go for it." "Yeah, gonna need that in writing, just saying," Mary points out, to which he smirks. "Well, I'm glad we're all in agreement," Rena says, "And Joe, I promise to do your role justice." However, it's then that the happy expressions on Joe's and Mary's faces change. "Wait what?" Joe utters, "You're playing me?" "Well... yeah," Rena responds, slightly less confident, "That was the point of all this. I write a screenplay and act as the lead." "Sweetie, you'd be playing a detective," Mary points out, "Is that not a little too..." "Serious, for you?" Joe finishes. "What are you talking about?!" Rena wonders, starting to get defensive, "I can play serious." Joe and Mary look at one another though, and then back at Rena. "Are you sure you wouldn't want to play, I don't know, yourself?" Joe wonders, adding on that he'd still be a pretty relevant character. "No, I wanna be the lead!" Rena barks, "We all know you're the more important one, and this is meant to be my big break. What makes you think I can't play serious?!" Again, Joe and Mary look at one another awkwardly, and so Mary decides to speak up this time: "Look, Rena, the whole time I've known you, you've never really been the serious one. You're far more... comic relief-y." "Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with that," Joe adds on, though Mary may beg to differ. "But I'm an actor," Rena argues, "I'm sure I could play a serious role." "But the lead role?" Mary wonders, then saying, "Look, hun, we're just being realistic here, just... just sleep on it, alright?" Rena's no longer wanting to talk though, as he finishes his car keys out of his pocket, announcing to his friend and girlfriend that he's going home. "Don't wait up," he adds, heading out the door and slamming it behind him. Joe and Mary both look at one another, again, each feeling some guilt over hurting Rena's feelings.

"This is a nice place," Regina nods awkwardly as she sits across from Josh at the cafe where the butlers regularly meet; seems he has allowed her to buy him a cup of tea. "Yeah, it is," Josh says, awkwardly sipping it while she sips her own. "You missed quite the close election back home," she goes on, attempting to make small talk, "Real nail-biter. Brexit in shambles. It's just a shame the Tories couldn't gain an overall m--" "Why are you here, mum? Really?" Josh needs to know, already fed up. "I told you, I heard about... what happened," Regina shivers, "and I felt I needed to come and see you." "Right, so, because I survived an explosion, I'm suddenly relevant to you again? I'm suddenly your son again?" "You were always my son..." "No!" Josh exclaims, "You gave up the right to be my mother the day you threw me out of the house!" "Joshie, darling, people are starting to stare..." "Let them!" Josh cries, "Let them know what a horrible mother you are! What a horrible person you are!" "You're stressed," Regina breathes, "Grieving. Just calm down an--" "I am not grieving!" Josh yells, standing up, "Why does everybody keep saying that?! I don't care about the wheelchair, okay?! I don't!" "Wh-what?" Regina mutters, terribly confused. "Of course you don't understand..." if Josh stared her down any harder, there would be fire jetting from his eyes, "You don't understand common decency. Courtesy. Love. You never have and you never will! You're evil! You should have your neck snapped!" The people around are gasping some now, and Regina is utterly lost for words. Josh just breathes, looking around and not liking all the people staring at him; he has flashes of all those wedding guests staring when he was on the ground outside the church, yelling out for his husband. He feels compressed all of a sudden, breathing getting heavier. "I know what I did was wrong," Regina eventually states, trying her best to remain calm unlike her son, "But I am attempting to change. I understand now that you can't choose who you are, and I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through." "So try to imagine what you put me through," Josh eventually snaps back into reality, "I told you I was gay, and you pointed to the door. You told me to get out of my own home. I made my own way from there. Learned lots of things about myself. Namely? That I don't need a mother. I found a new home, a job that I'm good at." "As a butler..." "Yes, and a damn great one!" Josh yells, "So just go on home back to England, Regina. You're not needed here. And, judging by the state of things, it seems I have to go find a new boss to go clean for. So... tallyho or whatever." He then storms on out of the cafe, leaving Regina utterly reeling. When he makes his way around the corner, he takes a deep breath, turning to his side and assuring, "I don't need anyone but you. Let's start looking for a new home, shall we?" He wanders off from there.

At the Del Barrio mansion, Marvin Pierce is sat brushing his daughter's hair in front of the many mirrors Liz had installed when she moved in, this one being in the little room. Cassie doesn't seem to display much of a reaction to this; she doesn't appear to really be enjoying or not enjoying this peaceful activity with her father. Liz, meanwhile, is stretched across the sofa flipping through a magazine and downing a couple of diet pills. "You want one?" the redhead asks her girlfriend's sister, "You can never be too young to start getting into shape." Marvin glares at Liz and Ben, who has been dusting or something, mutters under his breath that his own future children are doomed should they end up around Liz. Cassie isn't given a chance to accept or decline the offer though, as Ali enters the room returning from who knows where. She approaches Liz who sits up to give her girlfriend a kiss, and Ms. Del Barrio proceeds to turn to Cassie, asking if she'd like for Ben to scoop her some ice cream. Cassie's face lights up at this, and Ali motions that Ben take her sister, the butler knowing that his boss is intentionally trying to clear the room to be alone with her father. "Bad idea," Liz comments disapprovingly, but Ali proceeds to tell Liz to go with them. "Figure out the calorie count or whatever," she instructs, and Liz shrugs, getting up and leaving. It's now down to Ms. Del Barrio and her father, the latter of which crosses his arm and furrows a brow. "So I suppose you're ready to talk," Marvin inquires, but Ali shakes her head, smiling all the while. "No," she says in response, "you're gonna leave." "Pardon?" "You're going to pack up your things and get out of my house, and I'm never going to hear from you again." "Wow, that's pretty harsh," Marvin says in turn, "but don't you wanna get to know your little sister?" "Oh, father," Ali smirks, "you really think I'm letting her go with you?" Marvin frowns at this, as Ali continues, "Cassie will be staying here with Liz and me, and you're not going to fight this." "Or what?" "Or I'll tell the world what you did, you sick son of a bitch." Marvin looks indignant.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Ben smiles as Cassie happily eats away at the bowl of ice cream scooped for her. Liz rolls her eyes though, insisting to Ben that this is not how you care for a child. "Whatever," Ben says in turn, but then Liz inquires, "And is that not Rochelle's ice cream?" Ben tenses up at this, and Liz continues that she's still not back yet, and they've still not heard anything from her. "Yikes, what if she's dead?" Liz wonders, only making Ben more uncomfortable. "Bitch sure does have lots of enemies," the ginger continues, "Hell, she's so old that might've fall down the stairs and snapped her neck or something."
A flash then goes through Ben's head of a dead Rochelle with her snapped neck.
Ben's beginning to sweat, something that Liz takes notice of. "You alright?" she asks the butler, pointing out that he sure doesn't look it. "I- I'm fine," Ben insists, and Liz nods, though not really believing him.
Sometime later and we see Marvin descending a staircase of the Del Barrio mansion, his bags in tow, as Ali holds the front door open for him to leave her life forever. "You're gonna regret this," Marvin insists, but Ali just ignores him insisting that he just go. He does so, this being when Ben, Liz, and Cassie emerge from the kitchen. "Where's dad going?" Cassie questions, to which Ali answers, "He's... going away for a while. But we're gonna take care of you." She forces a smile, but Cassie forces nothing, merely blinking. Before Ali has a chance to close the front door though, in comes Aliza Little, barging through and knocking Ali some out of the way. "Yo bitches, where mah mama at, I just wanna talk," she exclaims, causing Ben to tense up. Ali and Liz look at one another, then back at Aliza. "I... don't know," Ali admits, "We haven't seen her in a while." Ben's chest starts beating some as he inhales and exhales, sweating even more. The three ladies start to take notice of this, Aliza being the one to call out, "Boi why you actin' all shady over there?!" though she doesn't care enough to press even further on this, simply telling the Del Barrio-Davis couple to keep her informed should they hear anything. With that, she leaves, and Liz announces that she's going to lounge by the pool for a while. "Take Cassie with you?" Ali asks, and Liz rolls her eyes but nonetheless take the little girl's hand and leaves. It's down to Ben and Ali now, and Ms. Del Barrio inquires what's really wrong with the butler. "I..." "Ben," Ali pleads, "what's going on?" Ben really takes a moment to contemplate this, deciding how he wants to approach the subject, but finally he knows what he must do, "I'm resigning," he answers, to Ali's complete and utter shock. "Excuse me?" "I just... I need time off," he explains, "Time to myself, that's not spent here." "I don't understand... what about--" "I'm sorry," he tells his employer and best friend, "I really, truly am." And with that he begins heading upstairs to pack his things, leaving Ali as the one freezing up now, not exactly knowing what just happened. But tears begin pouring down her face, and upstairs the same for Ben.

Another evening descends on Fanon Drive, and the old Washington house - now the Montgomery house - is lit up beautifully. Inside, Rena is putting the final touches on the table, and Juanita Kwon and Josh aiding him. "Thanks again for getting me the job, even if it only is for the night," the latter says to Rena, who assures him that it's no problem. "Yes, and thank Mr. Man over there for giving one-night job in home where Hector took his first steps," Juanita seethes, looking over to Jason in the living area and scowling... or, are her eyes just like that? We'll never know. James Edmond then emerges from the kitchen with a punch bowl in tow, him too having been hired for the evening. "Where would you like this, Mrs. Montgomery?" he asks, and Silvia ceases whatever conversation she's having with her husband, getting up from the nice couch in order to direct, "Over here," at the long lounge table which has been set up and covered in glasses for the evening's early portion. James does as told and moves the punch bowl in that direction, and Jason adds, "In fact, more of you should probably move to this area to serve the guests when they arrive." "Good idea, dear," Silvia notes, kissing her husband on the cheek, "But Rena, you wait by the door to greet people when they arrive and take their coats." "Ugh, I'm the coat lackey?" Rena complains, "Can't she do it? I mean her family probably stitched the coats together in the first place." Juanita scowls at him now - or does she? - but Silvia gives Rena a stern look which he knows means, You tasered me senseless, you bitch, now do as I say. "Alright, alright, you don't have to keep bringing that up," Rena sighs. "Oh, did I say that out-loud?" Silvia giggles, and Jason giggles as well, telling his former patient, "I just love your sense of humor, dear." "Yeah, freakin' hysterical," Josh comments as he neatens some glasses on the lounge table. "Hey, I'm not sure we've met," James tells him, "I'm James. Friend of Ben's." "Nice to meet you," Josh says, shaking his hand, "Josh." "Oh," James turns awkward, realizing who this is, "I know you must be sick of hearing this by now, but, I'm so sorry for your loss." Josh furrows his brow at this. "Yeah," he states, continuing to neaten the glasses in awkward silence, and James too appears awkward as he goes about his business setting up the alcohol. "You drink on job?" Juanita asks James, pouring some of the chardonnay into a flask through a funnel she was keeping in her stupid big purse, and James just blinks at her. The doorbell then rings, and Silvia and Jason express excitement for their first guests. "I'll be in the living room, you be nearer the door," she tells Jason, who follows his wife's command. Rena opens the door to Joe and Joanna, stoically asking, "May I take your coat?" "Um... sure?" Joe says, a little awkward, beginning to take his off, to which Rena replies, "You gotta be kidding me, right?" Joanna doesn't listen and simply throws hers at the Portuguese butler, meaning he's forced to catch it, and the engaged couple are then awkwardly greeted by Jason. "Hi there, son," he says to Joe, extending his arm, and Joe very slowly moves to shake it. "Heyyyyy." Joanna, meanwhile, moves toward the lounge area. "So glad you could come!" Silvia exclaims, "When you RSVP'd yes, I made sure to double the wine order." "Oh, you would just love that, wouldn't you?" Joanna barks, looking up at the ceiling, then turning to Silvia and saying, "I mean, thanks." She goes over to the table with the glasses where Josh is still waiting by, and the two of them make eye contact. "Nope," Josh says immediately, disappearing into the kitchen, and Joanna shrugs, "Fair enough," while James fixes her a drink. Soon, Joanna and Joe are sat on a couch opposite Silvia and Jason. "So..." Jason begins, "what's new in cleaning?" "Is that a reference to something?" Joe asks, "'Cause I swear all rich people ask it in this town whenever forced to small talk with butlers." "I think Geniqua once said it on The Passions of Falta," Joanna recalls, "Before it got cancelled." "Oh, I loved that show," Silvia chimes in, hoping to spark further conversation. But she doesn't. It remains exactly as awkward as it is, everyone just sipping their drinks. "Man you some boring white people," Juanita comments from nearby, swigging some from her flask. The doorbell rings again. "Ooh, new guests!" Silvia exclaims excitedly, rushing upward so that she can greet them. "Thank goodness," Joe comments. Rena opens the door to Eli Davis and Kathryn Kappelletti. "Ugh," Joe comments again, turning to his wife and stating he has had his fill of Kappallettis for one week. "I know, sweetie, just bear with," Joanna strokes his arm. "We brought you a house-warming gift," Eli reveals, lifting up a basket of fresh red apples. "How... lovely," Silvia comments, accepting it. "Yeah he had a super ugly apple tree in the garden that I wanted him to get rid of so I made that pregnant girl chop it down. Let me tell you, that bitch can complain." Valentina then follows them in, panting, holding her big-ass baby bump and dropping the axe at the doorstep. "Enjoy the apples," she practically roars as she wanders in, finding a seat on the couch and practically upending it with the force which she lands. Jason bounces up a little due to the impact. "So lovely to see you again," Silvia says to Kathryn. "Right, yeah, last time I saw you was in this place when that tranny freak threw a gala," Kathryn recalls (see "The Little Spy Maid"), "What was your name? Lindsay?" "Well-remembered!" Silvia exclaims, "But actually, it's Silvia." "Huh?" Kathryn doesn't understand, and Silvia tells her, "Funny story. Turns out I was crazy." "This looks to be a fun evening..." Joe murmurs, and Val turns to him and says, "Shut up."
We cut forward in time, more guests have arrived. Mary. Ali and Liz and Cassie. Ben. Aliza. It's a full house up in here. "Salad's ready," Josh stoically announces as he finally emerges from the kitchen, laying some bowls out on the table with James and Juanita's help. "I only spit in two," Juanita winks, but no one hears, simply gearing toward the table. "Josh," Ben greets, "I didn't know you were even here, where've you been?" "Hiding," Josh states matter-of-factly, glancing towards Joanna, who's currently assuring Joe, "You're handling this great so far. Just remember, she is your mother." "Mothers are very overrated," Josh states, again matter-of-factly, before returning to the kitchen. Everyone begins to sit around the table now. "Can I get you anything, Miss Solano?" Rena asks coldly as he waits near Mary's segment of the table, and she rolls her eyes, saying, "Just sit down with me." "I can't, I'm working, as a butler. An ordinary, comical butler. Hope I don't trip over my apron on my way back to the kitchen, far too slapstick." He then turns around and slips over on a napkin, crashing to the ground, and everybody laughs. "Oh, look, Rena's here," Liz finally notices, "Hey, Rena, how are you?" Rena's on the ground currently, and he just lifts up a hand and gives a thumbs-up, to which Liz responds, "Cool. I'm about the same." She then warns people not to rush too hard to help him up - "He likes the pain." - and Mary looks a tad awkward at this. Liz then turns to Ali, who's loading her plate up with salad, and says, "I'll eat this because it's mainly healthy and whatnot, but I'm still probably gonna throw it up later." "I know, sweetie," Ali tells her, then asking Cassie if she'd like her to dish up a plate for her. Cassie, however, assures that she can do it herself, and Silvia asks Ali, "So, my dear, who is this small child you've brought to my otherwise adult party?" "There's a kid here?" Kathryn asks, finally noticing it, then rolling her eyes and saying, "I hate kids." She gestures the strap of her dress, "I mean look at this stitching." Juanita again scowls, muttering, "Xiao-Mulan does her besto," before taking another chardonnay swig. "No one's looking at the stitching, dear, your breasts are practically out," Liz comments. "And I suppose that's your cup of tea nowadays, huh?" Kathryn fires back. Eli coughs at this, while Liz says, "Sorry, honey, I'm only into real breasts. But I'm sure your plastic surgeon tried his best." "Um, could you please pass the salt?" Ben asks of Ali, not able to make full eye contact with her, and she goes, "Oh... um... sure... here," as she passes it to him. "That was a very boring line, Ben," Liz tells him, "Something perhaps Eli should've said. Eli, have you met Ali formerly?" "I... don't think so," Eli replies, "Maybe at a few of Jorgio's old functions." "Yeah, nice to meet you," Ali brushes off, not liking that her ex-husband was brought up, and Silvia doesn't like it either, deciding to change the subject, "You know, the faster we get through this salad course, the faster we get to the chocolate ice cream I had Rena whip up for dessert." "Actually, I prefer vanilla," Eli comments. "HA! Don't I know it," Liz bursts into laughter. "You sure about dat?" Aliza asks Eli from across the table, "Watchu doin' with this borin' white girl anyway?" "Excuse me?" Kathryn asks Aliza. "Excuse yoself, bitch. I mean, how dare you mess with Eliz?! Go hang out with my evil momma like yo used to." "I would, to be honest, but she's not returning my calls," Kathryn admits, and all the butlers turn awkward. "SO!" Joe suddenly cries out, for now he's the one who needs to change the subject, "Ali, you're technically my stepmother. Pretty crazy, huh?" "Um..." Ali utters, "we haven't talked in a while, have we?" "Yeah, I'm sorry," Joe sighs. "Wait," Kathryn utters, looking between Ali and Cassie, "is that kid the rape baby you were gonna have? 'Cause I thought you aborted that..." "Why do I have so many connections at this table..." Ali curses. Liz holds her hand. "No one blames you for aborting Joe's half-brother, dear, he's got another one out there somewhere. Or sister. I hope it's a sister. Hope she's hot, because, you know, who wants an ugly sister? He ain't Cinderella. He's Cinder-Fella maybe. Throwback! Or something..." it's Joanna saying all this, having had about seven more glasses of wine during this short salad course alone, "This stuff is good," she says to Jason, who just sort of smiles at her. "You smilin' at me?" Aliza calls to him from down the table, "'Cause it's been a while and I'd pretty much go for anyone at this point." "You already have my family's original wealth," Silvia points out, "You don't need my husband on top of it." "But on top of me maybe. You open to three-ways?" "Is Rena still on the floor?" Mary wonders. A far-off Portuguese groan is heard. "This fun party," Juanita grins. There's a silence for a while, broken only by the sound of a large crunch. Everyone turns to see James biting into one of the apples Eli brought over. "No one was touching them, so..." Everyone nods. "Oh, God, I'm gonna be sick!" Val exclaims, standing up and knocking the table some with her belly, morning sickness striking her in the evening. She waddles away to the bathroom and Liz comments, "Me too, later." "Has she been here this whole time?" Ben asks. "Fat bitch was only one eating and not chatting like bunch-a cluckin' chickens," Juanita tells him, then telling Ben, "You hire her over me? Rewi? Why you even a guest, T-B-H!" "Um... sorry about that," Ben tells her, "You're my favorite servant." "Well, duh," she tells him. Another crunch of James' apple. The meal goes on.
The salad plates are all seen to be empty minutes down the line, the dinner party having gone awkward and silent. "The main course will be out soon enough," Rena assures as he takes some plates, and Jason turns to Silvia and says, "I think this is going well so far." "Bitch, what party you at?" Aliza comments. Juanita takes a silver fork and stuffs it into her apron pocket, then heading out to the front door and casually tossing it amid the pile of silverware she's been discreetly robbing all night, ready to be taken home in a bundle at the end of the party. "So, Kathryn, you ever work with a Troy O'Neil?" Joe wonders. "I don't remember people's names, generic white person," Kathryn responds. "You remembered my old fake one," Silvia recalls. "Yeah, only for the throwback," Kathryn admits. "Cinder-Fella!" Joanna then cries again, spilling some wine on the tablecloth which James soon gets on, taking a break from apple-munching. "Don't bother cleaning it up, even more generic white person, it covers up this awful apricot color," Kathryn assures. "Well, I think I'm gonna go use the bathroom," Eli states, getting up from the table and leaving the room. "I'd give it another few minutes, but okay," Val comments, now back at the table. Eli decides to take his chances and heads off. "Well where the hell am I gonna puke now?" Liz exclaims. "If you wanna beat him there, there's a shortcut to the bathroom via the kitchen," Jason reveals to her, and Liz tells him, "Thanks," as she dashes through there. She passes Josh on the way, asking, "Have we ever spoken?" Josh shrugs, and Liz keeps on going. "I am soooo ready for sex tonight," the drunk Joanna tells Joe, and Aliza appears sad. Cassie asks Ali if it's time to go home yet, and Ali promises, "Soon, sweetie... I hope."
"What's taking the main course so long?!" Kathryn exclaims a bit later, "And where the hell is Eli?" Rena, Josh and James are all currently in the main room. Juanita comes in from throwing more silver onto her outside pile. "We were just letting it cool after it came out of the oven," Rena reveals, "Should be good now. I'll go get it." "What are we having?" Ben wonders. "Lamb," Silvia reveals to the table. Rena heads toward the kitchen, but Ali tells him, "We can't serve the main course without Liz here!" He doesn't hear her, though, and she rolls her eyes. "I know, dear," Mary tells her, "It's in one ear and out the other with that one." "I'll go help him carry it in," Silvia decides, "Since the other staff seem so distracted." Indeed, right now Josh is zoned out, James is munching on apples, and Juanita is Juanita-ing. She dashes towards the kitchen and gets there before Rena, then emerging with a gigantic silver salver plate covered by one of those large metal dome things with a handle on top (a cloche). "Do your job and serve this?" she asks of Rena, handing him the salver, before reclaiming her seat. "Certainly..." Rena utters, a tad subdued, then moving towards the table and placing the plate down in the center. "Heavier than I expected," he says to himself, "But everyone, I'm pleased to announced," he wraps his hand around the handle of the cloche, "Dinner is served!" He lifts it off... and Kathryn Kappelletti lets out a spine-chilling scream. Everyone else just gasps in utter, absolute shock. Resting on the plate is not a rack of lamb, but rather the jaggedly severed head of Elijah Davis, served with blood-spattered lettuce and one of his own apples stuffed into his open mouth. His eyes are still open and bulging. It's quite the sight to behold. Rena drops the cloche to the floor. Everyone begins turning to one another, speechless, not knowing what to do. Joe looks Silvia up and down. And then Liz finally re-enters the room from through the kitchen, and then everyone's just stuck staring at her. "Hey, everyone..." she says, confused, and then she notices her ex-husband's head resting in the center of the table, "Oh... so... I guess the party finally picked up, huh?" Too stunned to fully comprehend it, though, she promptly faints to the floor along with the dropped cloche.

Unanswered Questions

  • What became of the real Joanna's body after Nadia took it away?
  • Who is the other baby, child of Jorgio and Lily?
  • Did Nadia leave the knife for Joanna? If so, how did she come to suspect the switch?
  • Why did the church explode? Who was behind it?
  • Why didn't Ali want to see her father?
  • Why did Rochelle kidnap Joe?
  • Who paid Rochelle to kidnap Joe?
  • What became of Troy O'Neil? Was he involved in the church explosion?
  • What did Ali's father do that she threatened to expose?
  • Who killed Eli and dished up his head?